Lady Wu wrote:Ok, a translation has to reflect an original source, and only that source, in a different language.
The thing you posted omits too much of the original SGZ text (for example, "河東解人也" in the first sentence, and the entire third sentence "先主為平原相，以羽、飛為別部司馬，分統部曲。") and has too much of your own commentary. The explanation of his name is not in SGZ (nor does it make any sense). And where did "Grand Minister Superintendent of Kulun" come from?
Yue Fei is not named in SGZ or ZZTJ (both books being compiled before Yue Fei was born).
What you have here is at most your own version of a biography for Guan Yu, based on various sources. Take a look at the two Guan Yu SGZ bio translations on KMA to get an idea of what an actual translation is like.
Lady Wu wrote:There's nothing wrong with making a new translation. However, if you claim it's a translation, it should be just that---a translation of all the stuff and only the stuff found in the original, and at most some notes to explain technical terms or references that don't have direct correlations in the target language. Also, doing a translation requires a solid understanding of the original language and an appreciation of how its grammar works. Babelfish translations such as "The Guan Yu character is Cloud is long, the original form of character is immortal." have no place in a piece of published translation. Doing a word-by-word literal translation also runs the risk of misinterpreting the original text. For example, the "羽" in "羽書與諸葛亮" really refers to Guan Yu, rather than to a feather. Therefore, the sentence should read "Guan Yu wrote to Zhuge Liang" instead of "Guan Yu sent a military message with an attached feather as a sign of urgency to Zhuge Liang".
Lady Wu wrote:What you may want to do instead is to create an original biography for Guan Yu, based on historical sources available to you. In that case, you need to cite where you drew upon other people's work, and for each point you make, you need to explain where you got the information from. Else it'd be considered plagiarism. Great care must also be taken to separate out historically-recorded facts from personal opinion.
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