Fate of a Rebel/Parody of the Three Kingdoms

Fan art, illustrations, poetry, music, photography, and more.

Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Wed Jun 27, 2007 5:15 pm

ImageLord Yuan Shu: So, Taishi, what's happening? Now are you going to go ahead and have those DoaE episodes for us this afternoon? Uh, yeah. So I guess we should probably go ahead and have a little talk, hmm?

ImageTaishi Ci 2.0: Not right now, LYS. I'm, I'm kinda busy. In fact, I'm going to have to ask you to go ahead and just come back another time. I have a meeting with the James in a couple of minutes.

ImageLord Yuan Shu: Uh, I wasn't aware of a meeting with him.

ImageTaishi Ci 2.0: Yeah, he PM'd me at home.

ImageLord Yuan Shu: That sounds good, Taishi. Uh, and we'll go ahead and, uh, get this all fixed up for you later.

[/officespace]

Destiny of an Emperor Parody: Part 17
---
In a castle far to the north...

ImageZhao Yun: Oh man, what a trip. I think I messed up my hair. Where in the world am I?

ImageYuan Shao: You're in my castle in Hebei. And you're going to be here for a while, so get used to it.

ImageZhao Yun: How did I get here? I remember I was getting drunk in a bar and then I passed out.

ImageYuan Shao: I gave my brother Yuan Shu some of my special powder, which he used to knock out Liu Bei's best generals. In exchange, I get to keep you for myself.

ImageZhao Yun: What makes you think I'm going to serve someone with fashion sense as poor as yours?

ImageYuan Shao: I conveniently have your sister in my prison. Despite having never met you before.

ImageZhao Yun: That's a pretty convoluted story.

ImageYuan Shao: Yes, but for once the script works for me, so I won't complain. Now go outside and guard the castle.

ImageZhao Yun: Oh, so did you want me for my obvious strength?

ImageYuan Shao: No, actually the local workers union has a rule that I have to have at least one ambiguously gay person on my payroll.

ImageZhao Yun: But don't you already have Zhang He working for you?

ImageZhang He: Nice try, kid, but this isn't Dynasty Warriors.

Back in Yuan Shu Land...

ImageHuo Hu: Alright, I took a look around the castle, and the generals were right: all the women have been taken.

ImageLiu Feng: Is the rest of the town alright?

ImageMi Zhe: Well, yes, but I don't see what--

ImageLiu Feng: Then I'm off to pillage the shops!

ImageHuo Hu: Hey, I didn't authorize that. Don't you have anything better to do?

ImageLiu Feng: If Guan Yu and Zhang Fei get to rob people blind, why can't I?

ImageHuo Hu: If I let you do it, will you shut up for a while?

ImageLiu Feng:...Yes.

ImageHuo Hu: Alright, fine. Knock yourself out.

ImageLiu Feng: Oh boy! *runs off*

ImageWang Gui: I say, are all you mainlanders so bloody violent?

ImageMi Zhe: Just the ones we recruit, it seems.

ImageChen Ji: So guys, how's that plan for getting the women back coming along?

ImageHuo Hu: Well we're guessing they're all in another castle, since that's how these things tend to work. So we're just going to resupply here and then move on to the next castle.

ImageLei Bo: How is that different from your original plan?

ImageMi Zhe: Because you two would be dead in that plan.

ImageImageChen Ji & Lei Bo: Point taken.

ImageSong Ren: Hey, you guys captured the city already? That was quick.

ImageHuo Hu: Oh, you're back from the bar? What did you find out?

ImageGuan Ping: Well it seems that--

ImageYang Jin: Our mates was ambushed by a cutthroat who poisoned their grog!

ImageSong Ren: Talk like that again, and I will end you.

ImageYang Jin:...meep.

ImageGuan Ping: So they were tricked, and then they were probably taken to Huai Nan castle.

ImageChen Deng: Isn't that castle the next one on our warpath?

ImageMi Zhe: Hmmm.....yeah, it is. Should we move out now?

ImageHuo Hu: We're supposed to wait for Liu Feng to get back.

ImageSong Ren: We could just leave him. He's not that important to the plot.

ImageGuan Ping: By the way, how did you guys take this castle so quickly?

ImageMi Zhe: Pretty easy, we just--

ImageWang Gui: Those chaps over there gave up the castle when we promised to get their floozies back.

ImageHuo Hu: We're reusing this joke already?

ImageTaishi Ci 2.0: Yes!

ImageSong Ren: Whatever. I imagine it must be horrible to not have any women around.

ImageGuan Ping: It's not like there's been that many women in this story so far, though.

ImageLiu Feng: Hey, I'm back now. I stole everything that wasn't nailed down, then I stole the nails too.

ImageWang Gui: Blimey, did you have to take all that?

ImageLiu Feng: How else do you plunder a city? You Koreans just don't know how to have fun.

ImageWang Gui: I'm not Korean, damnit!

ImageChen Deng: Forget it, let's just leave. I'm tired of this town already.

ImageGuan Ping: What about Yuan Shu's generals?

ImageHuo Hu: Just leave them here, I doubt they'll try and betray us or anything like that.

Liu Bei's army leaves.

ImageChen Ji: So what are we going to do tonight, Lei Bo?

ImageLei Bo: The same thing we do every night, Chen Ji.

ImageImageChen Ji & Lei Bo: Try to take over the world!

ImageChen Ji: Wait, that's never actually worked, has it?

ImageLei Bo: I suppose you're right. Nevermind then, let's just get drunk.

ImageChen Ji: Sounds like a plan!

more to come...
Last edited by Taishi Ci 2.0 on Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby Foif » Wed Jun 27, 2007 5:33 pm

Hahahaha. Chen Ji and Lei Bo give me memories of those conniving rats. And the part about DW and Zhang He was funny as well.
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Unread postby Perhong_Angtong » Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:43 pm

What is the conversation with Lordyuanshu above? Is it a conversation you had over msn or something?
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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:46 pm

Parody of a scene in the movie Office Space.

BILL
So, Peter, what's happening? Now are you going to go ahead and have
those TPS reports for us this afternoon? (Peter keeps playing) Uh,
yeah. So I guess we should probably go ahead and have a little talk,
hmm?

PETER
Not right now, Lumbergh. I'm, I'm kinda busy. In fact, I'm going to
have to ask you to go ahead and just come back another time. I have a
meeting with the Bobs in a couple of minutes.

BILL
Uh, I wasn't aware of a meeting with them.

PETER
Yeah, they called me at home.

BILL
That sounds good, Peter. Uh, and we'll go ahead and, uh, get this all
fixed up for you later.
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby Perhong_Angtong » Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:50 pm

Oh alright, then, just wanted to know. I hope next update comes soon!
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Unread postby Adam » Thu Jun 28, 2007 11:27 am

Story write good, I take drugs make story even better.
Seriously, go drugs! They made it seem like the pictures were talking and not just sitting there.

Erm good work and what such.
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Unread postby Sima Hui » Thu Jun 28, 2007 1:52 pm

This is absolutely fantastic. My favourite part was when Li Jue and all the others were playing bingo. Keep on going!
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Unread postby Ricky » Fri Jun 29, 2007 8:06 pm

Very good, I might be in other forums but I have forever for this! The DW part was the best. :lol:
First upload.
All hail to the lord!

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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Wed Jul 04, 2007 12:21 am

Destiny of an Emperor Parody: Part 18
---
Somewhere near Huai Nan...

ImageMi Zhe: How much further is Huai Nan? It seems like we've been walking through this forest for days.

ImageHuo Hu: Could I interest you in some powder to pass the time?

ImageSong Ren: It might make me care less about the fact that this entire walk has been one big forest.

ImageGuan Ping: But considering the things you see when you're using it, that might be a bad idea.

ImageSong Ren: Eh, I'm willing to take that risk.

ImageWang Gui: Uh, fellows, do we already have a plan for our attack yet?

ImageChen Deng: What plan? We always just seems to make stuff up as we go along.

ImageLiu Feng: It worked out pretty well last time.

ImageWang Gui: Come now, you can't expect every enemy officer to surrender as soon as you show up.

ImageYang Jin: Arr, I say we send the lot of 'em to Davy Jones' Locker!

ImageSong Ren:...Actually, I have a plan now.

Minutes later...

ImageHuo Hu: Why did you tie Yang Jin to a signpost? Are you just trying to get rid of him?

ImageSong Ren: No, because I find that to be a horrible punishment from personal experience.

ImageChen Deng: Then why is he also in the river?

ImageSong Ren: Ok, that's me just trying to get rid of him.

ImageYang Jin: Ye backstabber! I'll be back for you soon!

ImageSong Ren: Just shove off already, you stupid pirate.

Song Ren pushes Yang Jin into the current and he flows away.

ImageSong Ren: That takes care of that problem.

ImageMi Zhe: Yeah, that's a big help. Now, about that whole "capturing Huai Nan" thing? We should get working on that.

ImageGuan Ping: Especially seeing as we just lost one member of our army.

ImageLiu Feng: Relax, these things always seem to work themselves out somehow. Usually in a convoluted manner, but it happens.

Meanwhile, in a previously undisclosed but now disclosed location...

ImageZhang Fei: Why are we here?

ImageLu Bu: Because we all got drunk on powder-laced wine?

ImageZhang Fei: No, I mean, why are we still here? We're better than this, we should have found a way to get out of here by now.

ImageGuan Yu: We don't exactly have that many options. Besides, my brain hurts from having to listen to Song Yong the whole time.

ImageSong Yong: We could use some type of condiment to make it look like we're bleeding and lure the guards inside!

ImageGuan Yu: No.

ImageSong Yong: We could knock down the wall with our fists!

ImageGuan Yu: No.

ImageSong Yong: We could slowly dig away at the walls with a spoon!

ImageGuan Yu: No!

ImageLu Bu: We could just kill Song Yong and not have to listen to him anymore.

ImageZhang Fei: I like that idea!

ImageJi Ling: Enough bickering already! Which one of you is Song Yong?

ImageGuan Yu: Why do you care?

ImageJi Ling: I've been told that, despite rumors to the contrary, Song Yong is not one of Liu Bei's strongest generals. So I'm here to, uh, "deal" with him.

ImageImage
ImageGuan Yu, Zhang Fei, & Lu Bu: That's him overe there.

ImageSong Yong: Does this mean I get to leave?

ImageJi Ling: That's one way of looking at it. Now come on.

Minutes later...

ImageSong Yong: So what's going on here?

ImageJi Ling: Oh, I'm just planning to have a little fun with you.

ImageSong Yong: Uh oh, I heard stuff like this happens in prison.

ImageJi Ling: What?

ImageSong Yong: Please be gentle...

ImageJi Ling: I'm not going to rape you, idiot.

ImageSong Yong: That's a relief! Then what are you going to do?

ImageJi Ling: I thought I'd strap you to this catapult and launch you over the ramparts, just for laughs.

ImageSong Yong: That's, uh....not much better.

ImageJi Ling: It's too bad for you. Have a nice flight!

work in progress...

Sorry this is pretty short, I'm going on vacation tomorrow and I thought I'd put part of this up so my fans wouldn't kill me for going two weeks without an update.
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby ZhugeLiangVN » Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:48 pm

Excellent, I'm glad !
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