Fate of a Rebel/Parody of the Three Kingdoms

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Unread postby dirtybird » Sun May 13, 2007 2:25 am

Nice.
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Unread postby Jordan » Sun May 13, 2007 3:28 am

Haha, I like the thing in the first chapter about how ministers were too busy explaining about how roosters became hens to care. That was from Cai Yong right? I forget exactly, but I remember that being a weird portent in the beginning of the novel.
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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Sun May 13, 2007 5:11 am

Oh, a novel parody fan. Yeah, that's from the first chapter when all the weird stuff is happening (mountains breaking and dragons appearing and such).
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby Perhong_Angtong » Thu May 17, 2007 9:34 pm

Still caught into school work? Take your time! I can't wait for the next update!
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Unread postby Adam » Thu May 17, 2007 11:54 pm

I disagree, get back to work, school will get you no where.
I graduated from a school and look at me!
Don't make me crack my whip... :P
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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Fri May 18, 2007 4:17 am

Patience, grasshopper!

Expect an update on Sunday...
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby Perhong_Angtong » Sun May 20, 2007 12:44 am

Great! I know it'll be good!

EDIT: Monday... No update... oh well, I'll wait a bit longer!
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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Tue May 22, 2007 12:03 am

Let it never be said that I keep my promises.

Destiny of an Emperor Parody: Part 13
---
While Huo Hu goes to find Chi Tu Ma, the rest of Liu Bei's army enters the cave near Yang Zhou...

ImageZhang Fei: So Chang An is on the other side of this cave?

ImageLu Bu: Yeah, and the cave's not too long either.

ImageMi Zhe: I trust you know the way through the cave, then?

ImageLu Bu: Don't worry, I wrote the directions down on this sheet of paper.

ImageSong Ren: I hope for your sake those directions are right. People in this army don't really take too kindly to people with bad directions.

ImageGuan Yu: I'll be the judge of that. Now give me that sheet so we can start moving.

Later, inside the cave...

ImageSong Yong: Hmm, this cave doesn't seem as bad as the last ones we've been in. Hopefully we don't run into any Rebel Forces...

ImageLu Bu: Song Yong, you're afraid of mere soldiers? What made Liu Bei ever think you were the strongest warrior in the land?

ImageSong Yong: Wine. Lots and lots of wine.

ImageLu Bu: That's your secret? What, do you have some kind of hidden "drunken fighting" technique?

ImageSong Yong: You just destroyed me two episodes ago and you're asking me to teach you fighting techniques?

ImageLu Bu: Well, you had no support. My victory could have been a fluke.

ImageSong Ren: Or maybe Song Yong just sucks at fighting.

ImageSong Yong: Quiet, you.

ImageLu Bu: I can't take that chance, so I'm just going to figure out your secret. Then one day I'll defeat you!

ImageSong Yong: But you already...oh, forget it. I am Song Yong the Mighty.

Meanwhile...

ImageHuo Hu: "8 yards west and 1 yards south." What the hell is that supposed to mean? Maybe I'll just start from here. If I keep walking in this direction long enough...

ImageLi Ru: *bump*

ImageHuo Hu: Ouch! You just ran into me!

ImageLi Ru: Yeah, that tends to happen a lot. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm in a bit of a rush. I got lost in a cave and I need to get out of this area.

ImageHuo Hu: Nevermind. You wouldn't happen to know where Lu Bu keeps his horse, do you?

ImageLi Ru: Red Hare? Yeah, I know where it is.

ImageHuo Hu: Where is it, then?

ImageLi Ru: 8 yards west and 1 yards south.

ImageHuo Hu: That's it?

ImageLi Ru: Well, you have to start from--

ImageYang Jin: Hey there, mate, you're not gonna win Hide and Seek just standing around like that. I'm coming after you!

ImageLi Ru: OH HEAVEN IT'S HIM! RUN AWAY!!

Li Ru and Yang Jin run away from where Huo Hu is standing.

ImageHuo Hu: This is far too difficult. I think I'll just relax for a while...ah, powder, my only true friend...

Back in the cave...

ImageGuan Yu: Gentlemen, we have a problem.

ImageZhang Fei: What's wrong? Did we take a wrong turn?

ImageGuan Yu: You could say that. I prefer to say that the directions are wrong.

ImageLu Bu: But my directions should have led us to the destination.

ImageMi Zhe: The "destination" appears to be a dead end with an oversized club against the wall.

ImageLu Bu:...I guess I brought the wrong directions.

ImageSong Yong: Hmmm...Club...dead end...I think I have an idea.

ImageChen Deng: I don't think I link this line of thinking, coming from somebody like Song Yong.

ImageSong Yong: Why don't I just use the Club to bash down the wall? Then we'll be out on the other side of the mountain.

ImageSong Ren: Sure, Song Yong, that's a great idea. Except instead of the Club, we'll just use your head.

ImageZhang Fei: Even though that idea has no chance of success, it would be funny to watch. So go ahead if you want.

ImageSong Yong: Just watch me work my magic.

Image VS Image

Song Yong whacks the wall with the Club and the wall promptly falls down.

ImageSong Yong: Wait...that...that actually worked?

ImageMi Zhe: That made no sense. At all. There should have been miles of rock behind that wall.

ImageLu Bu: Ha, my directions were right. Now let's get out of here.

ImageSong Ren: At least things can't get any weirder.

The group steps outside to find...

ImageHuo Hu: Hey guys, you really took your time down there, didn't you?

ImageSong Ren: I should just stop talking. But how did you get here before us?

ImageHuo Hu: Simple, I found Red Hare and rode him over here to meet you.

ImageGuan Yu: But there's no way--

ImageLu Bu: When I say "fastest horse in the world", I mean "fastest horse in the world".

ImageGuan Yu: At least tell us how you found Red Hare.

ImageHuo Hu: The directions Lu Bu gave me were worthless, so I just used some of my powder. Then I found my spirit guide, and he led me to the horse.

ImageZhang Fei: "Spirit guide"?

ImageHuo Hu: Oh, he was a great and terrible beast, that appeared to my eyes as a flying fish with a long stick in his fin and a strange hat upon his head...

ImageJames:...what? Quit looking at me.

more to come...
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby ZhugeLiangVN » Tue May 22, 2007 6:22 am

Part 13 is good !
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Unread postby Adam » Tue May 22, 2007 7:16 am

Hmm, that last bit sounds like a dream I had once, except said fish beat me to death....
Anyway, this is the part where I demand more.
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