Fate of a Rebel/Parody of the Three Kingdoms

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Unread postby Perhong_Angtong » Wed May 02, 2007 9:54 pm

Wow, now I really wonder what you're gonna pull off for the Chang An chapter.
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Unread postby Adam » Wed May 02, 2007 10:49 pm

Huo Hu could make anyone comment.
Though I always thought Zhang Fei really was a buncha snake monster things....must just be me though.

Lordyuanshu wrote:If the challenge is causing you troubles use the speedup function on the NES emulator, maybe that'll make it go better for you.

Erm, where exactly is it on Nestopia? I know it was ~ on the other emulator I used, but I can't seem to find it on this one.
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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Thu May 03, 2007 1:23 am

Destiny of an Emperor Parody: Part 9
Now with more action!
---
Near Luo Yang...

ImageYuan Shao: We're finally here at the capital. Cao Cao, are the troops assembled?

ImageCao Cao: Yes, they're in formation. We're ready at any time.

ImageYuan Shao: Excellent. I've mapped out our battle plans. I want you to take half the army and attack the east gate while we move around here to--

ImageRebel Force: Lord Yuan Shao! I've just received a message from Yuan Shu.

ImageCao Cao: What's he want?

ImageRebel Force: He says he's met up with a small force led by Liu Bei's men near the south gate, and they're about to attack.

ImageYuan Shao: In that case, Cao Cao, nevermind about the attack. We're just going to stand around looking busy. Yuan Shu and Liu Bei's squad can capture the city themselves.

ImageCao Cao: Yes, that makes much more sense than helping them attack the city. Why the hell do I even work for you?

ImageYuan Shao: You be quiet! Just be glad you're getting extra screentime!

Meanwhile, near the south gate...

ImageZhang Fei: Yuan Shu, do you know what we're facing here?

ImageYuan Shu: That's Lord Yuan Shu to you! Anyway, I made this map of Luo Yang. We're going to split up and enter the city through--

ImageSong Yong: We have to sneak inside?

ImageYuan Shu: Of course you do! Did you think Dong Zhuo would just come out of the front gate and give you a fair fight to take the capital of the Han? No! We have to take him by surprise!

ImageGuan Yu: This better be a good plan, then.

ImageYuan Shu: Of course it is. Now as I was saying, we'll split up to get inside. One group will be entering through this waterway, and they'll follow that path until they reach the inside of the castle. When they're inside, they'll have to come to the south gate and open it. Then the second team will enter through that gate and assault the palace, while I secure any treaures.

ImageGuan Yu: I don't think I like this plan. Securing treasures is more our style.

ImageYuan Shu: Shut up and make your teams. I'm going to go stand over here and cackle.

ImageMi Zhe: As long as we're doing this, I propose the infiltration team consist of me, Song Yong, and Zhang Fei.

ImageZhang Fei: Why would I need to go with you?

ImageMi Zhe: In case there are any strong enemies, you can defeat them.

ImageSong Yong: And me?

ImageMi Zhe: In case any enemies manage to defeat Zhang Fei, you can distract them while I run away.

ImageHuo Hu: It sounds good enough for me. Anyway, we need to hurry up or Dong Zhuo might hurt the Emperor.

ImageGuan Yu: Whatever. You guys go on ahead, we'll wait here for you to open the gate.

Inside the inner palace...

ImageDong Zhuo: Gentlemen, things aren't looking well. What's the situation, Li Ru?

ImageLi Ru: Both of our southern gates have fallen, and Yuan Shao and Cao Cao are camping outside the east gate. They're not moving, though, who knows why. Also, we've got reports that Liu Bei's army is somewhere south of us.

ImageDong Zhuo: Lu Bu, do you think you can handle Liu Bei's people?

ImageLu Bu: Don't worry, I can easily kill them this time. Even Song Yong won't stop me from defending the city.

ImageDong Zhuo: But suppose some of them snuck inside the walls?

ImageLu Bu: Don't worry, I've got a "plan" that will "handle" that.

ImageDong Zhuo: You've got a what?

ImageLi Ru: He says he has a plan, only he likes to say it in parenthesis like that.

ImageDong Zhuo: Oh. Don't do that, it creeps me out. Now go crush those maggots!

ImageLu Bu: Ha, no problem! *leaves*

ImageDong Zhuo: Even I know we'll never last long against an army as big as Yuan Shao's. We have to use some desperate measures. Is everything in place, Li Ru?

ImageLi Ru: Yeah, I checked it myself. There should be no problems.

ImageDong Zhuo: Good. Get everything we need and follow me to the gate.

Meanwhile...

ImageSong Yong: Aren't waterways usually cleaner than this?

ImageZhang Fei: Why do you think we drink wine all the time? No one wants to drink this stuff.

ImageMi Zhe: Just try to ignore it. We must be near the exit by now.

ImageZhang Liao: So you've come!

ImageMi Zhe: What the hell? Who's this guy?

ImageZhang Liao: I am the great Zhang Liao, and I'm here to protect Lord Lu Bu! If you value your life, then leave now.

ImageZhang Fei: Have you been waiting here all this time in case someone came by?

ImageZhang Liao: No, actually they make me sleep down here. It cuts down on the housing costs. But nevertheless, I am here, so I will kill you.

ImageSong Yong: Sorry, but you're not going to stop us. Between me and Zhang Fei, you don't stand a chance.

ImageZhang Liao: And you are?

ImageSong Yong: Song Yong the Mighty, defeater of Lu Bu!

ImageZhang Liao: I have a hard time believing that someone as puny-looking as you could ever defeat Lu Bu.

ImageZhang Fei: Don't mind him, he's just delusional. I'll take you on.

ImageZhang Liao: Just try it!

Back at the south gate...

ImageGuan Ping: They're certainly taking a while, aren't they?

ImageYuan Shu: Don't complain. My plans are always flawless. Even if the executions are a little slow.

ImageHuo Hu: Maybe I could pass the time with some of my powder...

ImageRebel Force: Can I have some of that? Lord Yuan Shao might enjoy it.

ImageHuo Hu: Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt.

ImageGuan Yu: I think I hear someone coming.

ImageLu Bu: Guan Yu! You dare to show your face here after the pounding I gave you at Hu Lao Guan?

ImageGuan Yu: Look, Lu Bu. I'm willing to make a deal here so no one has to fight anyone. Just let us talk to the Emperor for a few minutes so we can get a seal for Liu Bei.

ImageLu Bu: Silence! I won't give in to vermin like you. I'll destroy you this time....uh, Song Yong's not down there with you, is he?

ImageGuan Ping: Uh, no.

ImageLu Bu: Then I'll destroy you this time! Prepare yourselves!

Back in the waterway...

ImageZhang Fei: *huff huff* I gotta admit, you're a pretty good fighter.

ImageZhang Liao: Yes, the special avatar should have tipped you off to that one. But now it's over.

ImageZhang Fei: You're right about that one. Say goodbye now.

ImageZhang Liao: What are you talking about? And why is the water level dropping?

ImageSong Yong: Don't worry, that's just Mi Zhe's water spell about to go off.

ImageMi Zhe: Shui Xing!

ImageZhang Liao: *washing away* I'll be back! Even if you don't see me for a few hundred episodes!

ImageZhang Fei: Haha, another victory for us. Hey, looks like he dropped his helmet...

ImageMi Zhe: Well take it if you want, but we need to hurry and open that gate. Let's get moving.

In another part of the city...

ImageDong Zhuo: Lu Bu should keeping Liu Bei's group busy. Go ahead and set the fires.

ImageRebel Force: Yes, sir.

ImageDong Zhuo: Li Ru, flip that switch so the gate will open.

ImageLi Ru: You mean this one? *flips*

ImageDong Zhuo: Not that one! The other one!

ImageLi Ru: Oh, sorry. *flips*

ImageDong Zhuo: Soldiers, listen up. Yuan Shao thinks he's got us beat, but we'll show him a thing or two. It's time for you to do what you were trained to do, what you were bred to do, what you were born to do!

ImageRebel Force: You mean...?

ImageDong Zhuo: Yes.

ImageImageImageDong Zhuo's Army: RUN AWAY!!!

At the east gate...

ImageYuan Shao: We've been looking busy for an hour now. Looks like it's working.

ImageCao Cao: Yuan Shao! The east gate just opened, Dong Zhuo's army is retreating out the west gate, and the city's on fire!

ImageYuan Shao: Damn! Prepare all units to--

ImageRebel Force: Hey Lord Yuan Shao, I just brought some "powder" from one of Liu Bei's men. Want to try it?

ImageYuan Shao: Er...well, alright, but just a taste. I can't afford to get distracted.

Inside the south gate...

ImageMi Zhe: Ok, this switch should open the gate. *flips*

ImageZhang Fei: Do you guys hear something? It sounds like a battle.

ImageSong Yong: It's coming from the south gate. We better go help them!

ImageLu Bu: As I thought, they were no match for me! And you're next!

ImageYuan Shu: *meep* Don't hurt me...

ImageSong Yong: Hey Lu Bu, why don't you take on someone who's better than you?

ImageLu Bu: Wha...? Song Yong! Retreat! All hope is lost! *flees*

ImageZhang Fei: Wow, Song Yong really did beat Lu Bu that way...

ImageYuan Shu: Forget about that, you fools! We need to save the Imperial Seal!

ImageMi Zhe: You mean the Emperor.

ImageYuan Shu: I know what I said.

Zhang Fei rushes through the burning city to the palace...

ImageZhang Fei: Where is he?!? Oh look, Dong Zhuo left a note here...

To the leaders of the Coalition,

Well done on capturing a burnt-out shell. But your Emperor is in another castle!

Love, Dong Zhuo


ImageZhang Fei: Damn you, Dong Zhuo!

more to come...
____________________________

ImageJames: What in the world? That's not how the game is at all! If you're going to make a parody, stick to what really happens!

ImageTaishi Ci 2.0 Oh fine, have it your way...

Image
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby dirtybird » Thu May 03, 2007 2:44 am

Yet again, i liked it all.
Everything i've obtained, and all i know; i give it away just to know you Lord.
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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Thu May 03, 2007 8:35 pm

Destiny of an Emperor Parody: Part 10
---
As the fires of the burning capital die down, Yuan Shao calls a meeting of the coalition leaders...

ImageYuan Shao: Here's the situation: on one hand, we have managed to recapture Luo Yang and force Dong Zhuo to retreat west. On the other hand, the capital has burned down and the Emperor is still missing. My opinion is that we should all stand around complaining for a few days, then go back to our own homes and fight each other. All in favor?

ImageYuan Shu: Aye.

ImageYuan Shao: All opposed?

ImageCao Cao: I object! Dong Zhuo is clearly weak, and now is the time to pursue him and finish him off! We must save the Emperor!

ImageYuan Shao: Sorry, Cao Cao, but you're opposed by the vast majority here.

ImageCao Cao: Vast majority? There's only three of us, and you two are brothers!

ImageImageYuan Brothers: What of it? We're going back to our territories and so should you.

ImageCao Cao: No way! Screw you guys, I'm not going home!

Cao Cao storms out of the tent.

ImageYuan Shao: Ah, another victory for democracy. Yuan Shu, would you like some of this wonderful powder I've just learned about?

ImageYuan Shu: Can't right now, I've got a major position of power to usurp.

ImageYuan Shao: Oh, you're such a kidder.

In another part of the city...

ImageHuo Hu: Gentlemen, is it really ethical to steal from people when the city's burned to the ground?

ImageZhang Fei: Screw ethics. We came all this way to meet the Emperor and now he's gone. I'm not leaving without something worthwhile. Now go check that house again.

ImageGuan Ping: By "house", I assume you mean "scorched hole in the ground"?

ImageSong Yong: I think the only building left standing is the inn. I'm gonna go take a nap.

ImageSong Ren: You better leave some beds for me.

ImageZhang Fei: Oh, you guys came after us?

ImageSong Ren: Yeah, we heard that the capital had been captured so we left to come help.

ImageChen Deng: That and we haven't been getting much screentime lately.

ImageZhang Fei: You can start by helping us find some treasure. Towns don't pillage themselves, you know.

ImageChen Deng: Judging by the massive fire damage, I think you might be wrong on that one.

ImageZhang Fei: Be quiet and start looking. And where's Liu Feng?

ImageSong Ren: Oh, he's around here somewhere...

Across the city...

ImageGuan Yu: Any luck so far?

ImageMi Zhe: Nothing yet, but there's still another house to check.

ImageCao Cao: Guan Yu, what are you doing here?

ImageGuan Yu: We're trying to find the Imperial Seal. We've already checked all the wells, but no luck so far.

ImageCao Cao: Forget the seal! The Emperor is still in danger, we need to go save him.

ImageMi Zhe: Yuan Shao's not going anywhere, though. We don't have much power on our own.

ImageCao Cao: So you won't help either. Fine, I'll just go after Dong Zhuo myself!

ImageGuan Yu: Do you even know which way they went?

ImageCao Cao: There's only one place he could have gone.

ImageGuan Yu: And that is?

ImageCao Cao: Xuzhou, of course!

ImageImageGuan Yu and Mi Zhe:....

ImageCao Cao: Well, I'm off. See you guys later.

ImageImageGuan Yu and Mi Zhe:....

Cao Cao leaves.

ImageGuan Yu: Are you going to tell him?

ImageMi Zhe: Nope. You tell him.

ImageGuan Yu: I'm not telling him.

ImageMi Zhe: Forget it. Let's go check that house.

Guan Yu and Mi Zhe inspect the ruins of the house.

ImageGuan Yu: Anything unusual in here?

ImageMi Zhe: Well, there is one red tile that stands out from all the other tiles.

ImageGuan Yu: Odd.

ImageMi Zhe: Which appears to be completely intact despite the rest of the house burning up.

ImageGuan Yu: Very odd.

ImageMi Zhe: But the strangest part is that there's a keyhole on this tile.

ImageGuan Yu: That sounds pretty ridiculous. Too bad we don't have any keys.

ImageLiu Feng: Ah, but what about this key?

ImageMi Zhe: Wha? How'd you just appear like that? It makes no sense.

ImageLiu Feng: I'd say it makes about as much sense as a locked tile on the floor.

ImageMi Zhe: Touche. Hand it over then.

Mi Zhe uses the key to open the tile and finds...

ImageGuan Yu: What is this? Some kind of treasure sword?

ImageLiu Feng: Why don't we ever find anything normal?

Later...

ImageZhang Fei: So you guys didn't really find anything either?

ImageGuan Yu: Nothing besides this "Gemsword" thing. Here, Song Yong, go amuse yourself with this.

ImageSong Yong: Rebel Forces, beware! Mwahaha!

ImageGuan Yu:...Yeah. Anyway, there's clearly nothing here, so we're gonna go after Dong Zhuo. If we save the Emperor ourselves, we'll probably get a big reward.

ImageZhang Fei: That's a good enough reason for me. On to save the Emperor, I guess.

Meanwhile, near Fan Shui Guan...

ImageCao Cao: Look, you punk, I know Dong Zhuo went this way! Let me through!

ImageMa Yuan Yi: Go away, you fool! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now, go away before I taunt you a second time!

ImageCao Cao: Curse you! I will be back! *leaves*

ImageMa Yuan Yi: Mwahahaha!

ImageLiu Bei: You've been scaring away the tourists again, haven't you?

more to come...
Last edited by Taishi Ci 2.0 on Sat May 05, 2007 3:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby James » Fri May 04, 2007 3:03 am

Taishi Ci 2.0, I’m going to make this a sticky for the time being. It is that good. :lol:

And how long do you think this will continue? I’m sorely tempted to inquire about making it a feature of the KMA home page. Like some sort of coming, going forward until the end of the story. What do you think?
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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Fri May 04, 2007 3:20 am

Oh wow, thanks for the sticky James. I was just bumping it up because it had been pushed back to the third page.

I want to do all of the game and then DoaE2 as well. I am trying to update most days, although I can't do it every day.

You may put it on the homepage if you like. How are you going to point out updates, though?
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Sat May 05, 2007 3:22 am

The filler post now has Part 10. Look up three posts.
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby Lordyuanshu » Sat May 05, 2007 7:04 am

I almost lost track of where this thread was, I thought it disappeared. Good thing it's stickied.

Anyway, I like the Huo Hu ethics reminder.

I'm looking forward to the bar outside of Yuan Castle where you first meet Zhao Yun, but he doesn't join since he's busy with "Gong Sun Qian".
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Unread postby ZhugeLiangVN » Mon May 07, 2007 1:01 pm

Superb, I love thread :lol:
I hope you will write Doae2 :wink:
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