Fanfic Fanfare!

Fan art, illustrations, poetry, music, photography, and more.

Unread postby FengXian » Sat Jul 26, 2003 5:04 pm

Don't sue me, PandDeGuy, but I'll try your method of fanfic, it's pretty funny-

CHANG BAN BRIDGE, DURING THE BATTLE OF THE AFOREMENTIONED INANIMATE BUT NONTHELESS USEFUL ITEM

---------------------------------------------------------

Zhang Fei: I am Zhang Fei of Yan! Come if you want to die!

Wei Soldier: Prove it!

Zhang fei: Well, come, and I shall show you.

Wei Soldier: I'm not falling for that one again.

Zhang Fei: Again? As in, this has happened before.

Wei Soldier: Oh yes, many times. I've seen 5 of them now I think....

<murmour of acceptance from the wei army.>

Zhang Fei: Really?

Wei Soldier: Yup. Not very original at all.

Zhang Fei: <slightly disheartened.> Still, I shall kill you all.

Wei Soldier: <unmoved> Sure you will.

Zhang Fei: I will!

Wei soldier: Sure.......

Zhang Fei: Right then. <dismounts horse>I'll show you.

<Zhang Liao arrives>

Zhang Liao: What's the hold up here? <looks at Zhang Fei> Ah yes, I see, another fat lumb blocking the bridge eh? I'll just dislodge him, then....

Zhang Fei: <dominantly> I am Zhang Fei of Yan!

Zhang Liao: Who?

Zhang Fei: <annoyed> Zhang Fei. Come if you want to die!

Zhang Liao: Die of what? Boredom?

Zhang Fei: Right! That's it! <walks towards Zhang Liao, falling through one of the bridge beams. Roar of laughter from teh wei soldiers>

<Guan Yu enters, seeing brother stuck in bridge.>

Guan Yu: Brother!

Zhang Fei: Help Me!

<Guan Yu walks towards Zhang Fei, but sees Zhang Liao>

Guan Yu: Zhang Liao! Zhang Liao! <rushes over to him> I'm one of your biggest fans! Can you sign Blue dragon for me?

Zhang Liao: Sure, I guess. <signs the staff>

Guan Yu: Oh thankyou, thankyou.

Zhang fei: Brother!

Guan Yu: In a minute. <to Zhang Liao> You inspired me to wear this robe. I know you never wore one, but you still inspired me.

Zhang Liao: Oh, erm, thanks.

<Guan Yu and Zhang Liao ride past Zhang Fei, talking amongst themselves. The Wei army follows. All apart from one.>

Zhang Fei:You! Help me!

<soldier remains silent>

Zhang Fei: help me or die!

<soldier remains silent>

Zhang Fei: Can't you see? I'm stuck! Help me!

<soldier walks past Zhang Fei, blankly.>

Zhang Fei: < to himself, boldly> I am Zhang Fei of Yan! Come! <whimpering> ....I don't want to die!
"The purpose of war is not to die for your cause, but to make the enemy die for his."

www.threekingdoms.galwar.co.uk
FengXian
Apprentice
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2003 10:37 am
Location: Riding on Red Hare

Unread postby PangDeGuy » Sat Jul 26, 2003 5:55 pm

FengXian wrote:Don't sue me, PandDeGuy, but I'll try your method of fanfic, it's pretty funny-

CHANG BAN BRIDGE, DURING THE BATTLE OF THE AFOREMENTIONED INANIMATE BUT NONTHELESS USEFUL ITEM

---------------------------------------------------------

Zhang Fei: I am Zhang Fei of Yan! Come if you want to die!

Wei Soldier: Prove it!

Zhang fei: Well, come, and I shall show you.

Wei Soldier: I'm not falling for that one again.

Zhang Fei: Again? As in, this has happened before.

Wei Soldier: Oh yes, many times. I've seen 5 of them now I think....

<murmour of acceptance from the wei army.>

Zhang Fei: Really?

Wei Soldier: Yup. Not very original at all.

Zhang Fei: <slightly disheartened.> Still, I shall kill you all.

Wei Soldier: <unmoved> Sure you will.

Zhang Fei: I will!

Wei soldier: Sure.......

Zhang Fei: Right then. <dismounts horse>I'll show you.

<Zhang Liao arrives>

Zhang Liao: What's the hold up here? <looks at Zhang Fei> Ah yes, I see, another fat lumb blocking the bridge eh? I'll just dislodge him, then....

Zhang Fei: <dominantly> I am Zhang Fei of Yan!

Zhang Liao: Who?

Zhang Fei: <annoyed> Zhang Fei. Come if you want to die!

Zhang Liao: Die of what? Boredom?

Zhang Fei: Right! That's it! <walks towards Zhang Liao, falling through one of the bridge beams. Roar of laughter from teh wei soldiers>

<Guan Yu enters, seeing brother stuck in bridge.>

Guan Yu: Brother!

Zhang Fei: Help Me!

<Guan Yu walks towards Zhang Fei, but sees Zhang Liao>

Guan Yu: Zhang Liao! Zhang Liao! <rushes over to him> I'm one of your biggest fans! Can you sign Blue dragon for me?

Zhang Liao: Sure, I guess. <signs the staff>

Guan Yu: Oh thankyou, thankyou.

Zhang fei: Brother!

Guan Yu: In a minute. <to Zhang Liao> You inspired me to wear this robe. I know you never wore one, but you still inspired me.

Zhang Liao: Oh, erm, thanks.

<Guan Yu and Zhang Liao ride past Zhang Fei, talking amongst themselves. The Wei army follows. All apart from one.>

Zhang Fei:You! Help me!

<soldier remains silent>

Zhang Fei: help me or die!

<soldier remains silent>

Zhang Fei: Can't you see? I'm stuck! Help me!

<soldier walks past Zhang Fei, blankly.>

Zhang Fei: < to himself, boldly> I am Zhang Fei of Yan! Come! <whimpering> ....I don't want to die!



naw, i'm flattered ;). lol, that was good.
"Scum of a matweaver!"-Yuan Shu
User avatar
PangDeGuy
Assistant
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu Jul 24, 2003 12:48 am
Location: Gotta catch em all!

Unread postby PangDeGuy » Sat Jul 26, 2003 6:04 pm

don't sue me fengxian, but i like the song thing ;)

-----
A song sung in the streets of Luoyang:

Oh, in the lovely hills of brave man world, you can find the one
The one that made the people shake until there were none
But that is so fictional, not the real thing
Let me tell you the real story, this is why i sing
He went aforth to battle, and his weapon all could see
As a peasant come forth, he started the retreat
He ran all night, he ran all day, he wouldn't stop until
He was about ten miles away, relieved he wasn't killed
And when he rode up to the enemy, his big hands on his lance
And when he saw the raggedy scout, he screamed and wet his pants
He cried all night, he cried all day, he wouldn't stop unless
The enemy, was not in his sight, and he could start his rest
And in his last battle, he ran and for saftey he seeked
And when he saw an ant in his cave, he let out a big shriek
The soldiers found him sweating, crouching up in a ball
And before he died, he cried real loud, and they let his big head fall
And who was this man, who cowered all day, oh who oh who oh who?
This man's name, as all of you should know, is the almighty Lu Bu!

Lu Bu: Hey! I'm not a coward! *Sees an ant* EEEEEK! *Faints*
"Scum of a matweaver!"-Yuan Shu
User avatar
PangDeGuy
Assistant
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu Jul 24, 2003 12:48 am
Location: Gotta catch em all!

Unread postby English_Druid » Sat Jul 26, 2003 9:13 pm

Ha Ha, V.Good guys.
Are you two rivals or something? It seems that way
But no one dies in the right place
Or in the right hour
And everyone dies sooner than his time
And before he reaches home.
User avatar
English_Druid
Scholar of Ying Guo
 
Posts: 1179
Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2003 12:15 pm
Location: My soap box

Unread postby FengXian » Sun Jul 27, 2003 9:40 am

Nah, It just seems as though we're both inspired by one another and so bring new life to the topic. By the way, PangDeGuy, what tune was that song sung to? or did you make it up yourself?
"The purpose of war is not to die for your cause, but to make the enemy die for his."

www.threekingdoms.galwar.co.uk
FengXian
Apprentice
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2003 10:37 am
Location: Riding on Red Hare

Unread postby FengXian » Sun Jul 27, 2003 9:53 am

More of a sombre filk this time, reflecting the views of people within the three kingdoms. Sung to teh tune of Louis Armstrong's 'What a wonderful world.'

WONDERFUL RULES
---------------------------------------------

I see flags of Green,
Red Blood too,
I see them kill,
For me and for you,
And I think to myself, what a wonderful shu.

I see hordes of Blue,
Tents of white,
The brightness of wei,
The darkness of fight,
And I think to myself, what a wonderful rule.

The colours of the kingdoms,
So pretty, in disguise,
Reflected in the faces,
Of people running by,

I see friends shaking spears,
Saying 'How you must die',
In everything they say,
They are forced to fight,

I see people smile,
I watched them grow,
They're in no mood,
For fighting to start,
And I think to myself, what a wonderful wu.

I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
"The purpose of war is not to die for your cause, but to make the enemy die for his."

www.threekingdoms.galwar.co.uk
FengXian
Apprentice
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2003 10:37 am
Location: Riding on Red Hare

Unread postby PangDeGuy » Sun Jul 27, 2003 12:58 pm

FengXian wrote:Nah, It just seems as though we're both inspired by one another and so bring new life to the topic. By the way, PangDeGuy, what tune was that song sung to? or did you make it up yourself?


sort of a fast-paced banjo playing tune ;) nice songs
"Scum of a matweaver!"-Yuan Shu
User avatar
PangDeGuy
Assistant
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu Jul 24, 2003 12:48 am
Location: Gotta catch em all!

Unread postby English_Druid » Sun Jul 27, 2003 7:48 pm

Thats good gaz, I cant make the other one out because ive never heard of that song before, But wonderful rules is v.good.
Do you just come up with these or do you plan them out?
But no one dies in the right place
Or in the right hour
And everyone dies sooner than his time
And before he reaches home.
User avatar
English_Druid
Scholar of Ying Guo
 
Posts: 1179
Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2003 12:15 pm
Location: My soap box

Unread postby FengXian » Sun Jul 27, 2003 8:22 pm

My latest work of fiction, and, in my opinion, my best so far. To the tune of Bon Jovi's 'One wild Night':

ONE WILD FIGHT
----------------------------------------------

It's a hot night, The Wei army's restless,
We're sweatin' by the light of the moon,
There's Zhuge's Mojo, brewing at the Go-Go,
That could start a wind real soon.

We sail right in, shed our skin,
And ready for the battle ahead,
We're passing by, We give them an eye,
It's time to give them some light.

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na- All right!

One wild fight (Blinded by the moonlight)
One wild fight (24 hours of midnight)
One wild fight (We stepped into Wei's own zone,
and they left the fight with it unowned)
One wild, one wild, one wild, one wild fight.

Havin' as much fun as you can in clothes,
The constant killing had me feelin' alright,
It just might be, I've found religion,
I was on my knees for half of the night.

And all of our men were cheerin' - no lie,
They can take an extra couple week's pay,
And if you leave me alone, I'll take your province home,
You'd better stop - We'll we you downright.

One wild fight (Blinded by the moonlight)
One wild fight (24 hours of midnight)
One wild fight (We stepped into Wei's own zone,
and they left the fight with it unowned)
One wild fight (Hey, c'est la vie)
One wild fight (Welcome to the party)
One wild fight (Live is for the living,
so you gotta live it up -come on, let's go!)
One wild, one wild, one wild, one wild fight.

<Guitar Solo>

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na

One wild fight (Blinded by the moonlight)
One wild fight (24 hours of midnight)
One wild fight (We stepped into Wei's own zone,
and they left the fight with it unowned)
One wild fight (Hey, c'est la vie)
One wild fight (Welcome to the party)
One wild fight (Live is for the living,
so you gotta live it up -come on, let's go!)
One wild, one wild, one wild, one wild fight.

One wild fight (Blinded by the moonlight)
One wild fight (24 hours of midnight)
One wild fight (We stepped into Wei's own zone,
and they left the fight with it unowned)
One wild fight (Hey, c'est la vie)
One wild fight (Welcome to the party)
One wild fight (Live is for the living,
so you gotta live it up -come on, let's go!)
One wild, one wild, one wild, one wild fight.

One wild fight (Blinded by the moonlight)
One wild fight (24 hours of midnight)
We stepped into Wei's own zone for
One wild, one wild, one wild, one wild fight.
"The purpose of war is not to die for your cause, but to make the enemy die for his."

www.threekingdoms.galwar.co.uk
FengXian
Apprentice
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2003 10:37 am
Location: Riding on Red Hare

Unread postby FengXian » Sun Jul 27, 2003 8:24 pm

English_Druid wrote:Thats good gaz, I cant make the other one out because ive never heard of that song before, But wonderful rules is v.good.
Do you just come up with these or do you plan them out?


I find a line of a song, say, the title, or a popular line, and, if I can make a parody out of that one line, I can very often make one of the entire piece.
"The purpose of war is not to die for your cause, but to make the enemy die for his."

www.threekingdoms.galwar.co.uk
FengXian
Apprentice
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2003 10:37 am
Location: Riding on Red Hare

PreviousNext

Return to Artistic Expression and Illustration

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Copyright © 2002–2008 Kongming’s Archives. All Rights Reserved