Post your poetry

Fan art, illustrations, poetry, music, photography, and more.

Unread postby XuShu » Tue Jan 20, 2004 9:55 pm

Very good! The words are very deep. There are some rhymes that are a little off, but I liked it very much! A work that was interesting from beginning to end. You should write more in that form.
Wisdom is knowing what to say, and not saying it.

Of all the weapons of death, desire is the most destructive.
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Unread postby Nanman Elite » Wed Jan 21, 2004 1:48 pm

Here's another one:


"All good things come to those who wait."

For a time, I looked for someone like me
Who's smart, funny and a little goofy.

People say that love finds you
But what's love anyway? Is it even true?

But when I'm with you, they all know
It's easy for my affection to show.

None of my friends are as happy as me
'Cause they're still looking, and I've got it easy.

They haven't found their "One" so they can't relate
That all good things come to those who wait.




I don't like this one as much as the other... Any suggestions?
Why do we wonder why our children act like animals when we teach them that they've evolved from them?
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Unread postby Lord Ma-koto Chaoying » Wed Jan 21, 2004 8:49 pm

For everyone : such poets ! :shock: I'm really glad they are so many artists. They all have something unique to give. :D

Andrew, I really prefer that one ! :) I especially love the last stanza. I guess it must be very good as a song ! :D It's really a pity we can't hear it. Though I like some things in the writing, I guess it's meant for being sung, and that it's better so ?
Keep up your art though. :wink:

xiaocaca, what I like in your work is the way the rhymes play with the rythm :) , but I like less the subject :( . I'm very attached to the respect for everything : animals, plants, objects, wind, sky - livings things and beings. :) So, you understand... :(

For Sima Hui...
It's really a good poem ! Personnally, I really like it, it's very sad... :cry: really. I was truly touched... :cry: really good ! :)

And, in an other kind, an astonishing poem ("My Head and my Heart") Nanman Elite, and a good one (the second).
I haven't seen such a style (the tone, I mean) that goes very well with the depth of the poem. :shock: Very original, personal, yet moving. :shock:
But the second is good too, I also like it. :D

Just one suggestion, for all poets : if you have several poems, don't hesitate so start your own thread. Because noboby takes a glance to this one (except XuShu and me) :(

Everybody, keep up the good work ! :)
And have a look on XuShu's poems thread, he's a very good poet. :D


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Binding oneself to oneself and to Universe by Ki,
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In a path without fear nor violence."
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Unread postby Tirranek » Wed Jan 28, 2004 12:16 am

It was suggested that I post this poem here, so I took it from an older post. I don't write poems that often, I tend to write monologues; and I tend not to feel confident with poetry. Anyhow I hope you enjoy, any comments are welcome! :)


Her voice

Her voice bewitches me
Sing a ten note crescendo
Recite a verse
I am hers

The tones
The drama
The beauty
The most delicate rasp
That rolls off her lips
Like silver dust on satin.

Her laugh
A sweet-sounding melody
Caught unawares
A jewel
Testament to flawless wit
Suddenly surprised

Words of brave and foolish deeds
Tales of passion and temptation
Silence
Then a precarious skip
A muted giggle that cannot hold
And louder still until released
An open cheer of happiness
A smile best seen with shut eyes

But then her cry
Grief
The pains of the world
Now brief breaths and exhales

Her voice
That trained voice
Standing strong
Against the ravages of sorrow
Though grief is always bitter
Behind the glass courage of the brave

Tears
Phantoms
My eyes cannot see
The grief is but a pain upon my ears and throat
And I cannot hold her close enough

But then a single tear
It follows the line of her left cheek
Falls upon her lips
And her soft breath
Sends to me a flock of weeping doves
Broken diamonds in their eyes
And I see it then

I worry
I fear
But she is strong
And soon she laughs again
And the broken mends
And versus sing again
Her words
Her song
Her World

Her voice
Last edited by Tirranek on Wed Jan 28, 2004 12:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Unread postby Kong Wen » Wed Jan 28, 2004 12:25 am

Tirranek wrote:Anyhow I hope you enjoy, any comments are welcome! :)

The tones
The drama
The beauty
The most delicate rasp
That roles off her lips
Like silver dust on satin.

"roles" should be "rolls"

Tirranek wrote:Tears
Phantoms
My eyes cannot see
The grief is but a pain upon my ears and throat
And I cannot embrace her firm enough

Hrm... technically, that should be "firmly enough" but I don't want to mess with your rhythm.

I'm not the best person to comment on this kind of poem, because I'm not a huge fan of free verse (I like more structured stuff), but some of the images are really nice. I also like how it is free verse but still manages to seem poetic (which so much free verse fails to do).
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Unread postby Nanman Elite » Mon Feb 02, 2004 2:03 pm

Wow... Tirranek, that poem was awesome!
Why do we wonder why our children act like animals when we teach them that they've evolved from them?
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Unread postby Kong Wen » Mon Feb 09, 2004 12:15 am

This is not exactly poetry, so much as... well, spam. Hahahah, but I think this is where I should post it. There are a ton of poets here in this forum, and I just wanted to make sure that you have all checked out the Official LAP Three Kingdoms Poetry Contest in the Literature, Academics and Philosophy section of the forum.

http://the-scholars.com/viewtopic.php?t=8131

The rules and guidelines are all in that post, and I look forward to seeing some excellent competition.
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Unread postby Kevin » Tue Feb 10, 2004 2:30 am

Well, here's something I already posted on Jiang Zhitan's forum

Death

Death... It wanders upon the land, looking for prey to feed upon
As we grow weaker, it grows stronger, and it slowly consumes us piece by piece
It spreads through the crowded cities and the gentle countryside, devouring the helpless
Death is not a entity, but we know its there. Some fear it, some are indifferent
Humans are not only a food, but a supporter of it, destroying each other and causing anguish
The final fate of us all, many have tried to avoid it and failed, ending in the same destiny as all others.

Yep... thats mine all right.... I just have random rants about death and darkness sometimes, but I made this in about one minute.

Feedback appreciated!
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Unread postby xiaocaca » Fri Feb 27, 2004 12:15 am

Well anyway, my song rhymes sorta so i'll cut the Oo_____s out and make it a poem. ^o^
it's doesn't make much sense and the rhyming is a bit informal...


As I look past my dusty windowpane
I see you standin' in the pourin' rain
But it don't have to be like that at all
I could be there for you when you fall

Why did we have to leave each other?
To waste away as time goes by
And you know how fast it can fly

Why does it have to be like this?
They say that if two love each other
A happy end can be there never

And as I stare at you through bitter tears
I feel that you are one of my worst fears
Although I know at me you'd never shout
I just know that thisjsut can't work out

Why did we have to leave each other?
To waste away as time goes by
And you know how fast it can fly

Why does it have to be like this?
They say that if two love each other
A happy end can be there never

Now as I stand above your dusty grave
I regret that 'bout you I never gave
Didn't help you when you took that gun
All I did was stare and cry and turn and run

Why did we have to leave each other?
To waste away as time goes by
And you know how fast it can fly

Why does it have to be like this?
They say that if two love each other
A happy end can be there never


Anyway hope you like it.
and believe me it sounds a lot better as a song with a tune.
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Unread postby xiaocaca » Wed Mar 10, 2004 10:41 pm

okeh. so, i'll try another poem, and make it up as i go along, probably gonna be limerick, really short

robin got tagled in seaweed
right then air was his need
there he drowned
with a frown
because he had too much mead.

lol


hold on to love
for if u let go
life is a barren field
covered with snow.
hold on to love
for if it goes by
life is an ill child
that will soon die.

yea, i didn't like the ending much either.
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