Fate of a Rebel/Parody of the Three Kingdoms

Fan art, illustrations, poetry, music, photography, and more.

Unread postby Lady Wu » Tue May 22, 2007 9:30 am

Hahaha, this is awesome. The non-DoAE cameo pics are especially hilarious.

Btw, are you planning to keep doing the other parody at the beginning of the thread? If you'd like a mod can split this thread into two threads.
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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Tue May 22, 2007 11:07 am

Thank you for your support, everyone. Glad you are enjoying them.

Lady Wu, I will keep doing the novel parody at some point. You can split those parts off into another thread ("Parody of the Three Kingdoms") and keep this one as the stickied DOAE Parody. I just thought everyone was supposed to keep all their stuff in one thread in this subforum.
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Unread postby Lady Wu » Tue May 22, 2007 3:59 pm

Taishi Ci 2.0 wrote:I just thought everyone was supposed to keep all their stuff in one thread in this subforum.

Technically, yeah, but you've got two rather long projects going.

I'll let the AE&I mod decide. :P
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Unread postby Perhong_Angtong » Wed May 23, 2007 1:05 pm

Awesomeness! I can't wait for the next update now!

EDIT(On first of June): My, have you been busy lately, Taishi? Isn't school finished by now?
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Unread postby Adam » Sun Jun 03, 2007 6:45 pm

Hmm I see you there....sitting in the Who is Online section.....where's my story?!?!? :P
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Unread postby Lordyuanshu » Sun Jun 03, 2007 7:06 pm

It's coming soon, just wait a little longer. I just talked to him about it :lol:
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Unread postby James » Mon Jun 04, 2007 3:48 pm

Taishi Ci 2.0 wrote:ImageJames:...what? Quit looking at me.

*Laughs* :lol:
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Unread postby Ricky » Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:01 pm

You gotta make more I've spend time here laughing so hard. :lol:
First upload.
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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Tue Jun 05, 2007 5:42 pm

Every time you demand more, Heaven kills a Rebel Force. You don't hate Rebel Forces...do you?

Destiny of an Emperor Parody: Part 14
---
After leaving the cave, Liu Bei's army moves to the outskirts of Chang An...

ImageSong Ren: Well, we're here. I assume we have a plan for attacking Chang An?

ImageZhang Fei: Does attacking the gates head on count as a plan?

ImageLu Bu: That sounds good to me.

ImageMi Zhe: That's your plan? When was the last time that worked?

ImageSong Yong: I bet I could try scaring Dong Zhuo--

ImageGuan Yu: Song Yong, shut up. We're not using your ideas this time. Lu Bu, do you have a map of Chang An?

ImageLu Bu: Yeah, just let me just figure out where I put it...

Minutes later...

ImageHuo Hu: Alright, judging from this map, our best plan of action is move half our forces to the north and attack that gate, forcing Dong Zhuo to try and retreat out the west gate. The other half of our army will be waiting there to ambush him. Any questions?

ImageSong Yong: Couldn't we just build catapults and launch ourselves into the castle?

ImageHuo Hu: That plan would result in a quick death. So no.

ImageSong Ren: I have a better question. You're putting all of our army on the far side of the castle. What if Dong Zhuo just leave through the south gate?

ImageHuo Hu: That's why we're leaving you and Song Yong here to guard the camp.

ImageSong Ren: And if Dong Zhuo uses his whole army to attack us?

ImageHuo Hu: Come on, and leave his castle empty? How stupid do you think he is?

Inside Chang An...

ImageDong Zhuo: You want me to use my entire army to attack their camp? How stupid do you think I am?

ImageJia Xu: I'm not going to answer that question. But yes, you should attack the camp.

ImageDong Zhuo: And this stops the rest of Liu Bei's army from capturing the city how?

ImageJia Xu: Even if they made it inside, they'd be cut off from help with nowhere to run.

ImageDong Zhuo: You mean like we are right now?

ImageJia Xu: Look, just trust me. My tactics have never failed me in any of my battles.

ImageDong Zhuo: You've only been in one battle. Which you lost.

ImageJia Xu: That wasn't my fault! How could I have predicted that Lu Bu would betray us?

ImageDong Zhuo: We got him from his last master for a horse. A #@$% horse. Does that not tell you something about his loyalty?

ImageJia Xu: Just get the army ready. This plan has to work or it's the end for us.

ImageDong Zhuo: Such confidence.

Back outside...

ImageGuan Yu: We're off to carry out the plan of attack. You guys sit here and don't do anything stupid.

ImageSong Yong: I can't promise you that.

ImageMi Zhe: It's not like your job's hard. We'll be back soon.

Everyone except the Song brothers leave.

ImageSong Yong: So what do we do now?

ImageSong Ren: I suggest we get drunk and abuse Huo Hu's powder.

ImageSong Yong: Wouldn't that inhibit our ability to guard the camp?

ImageSong Ren: Do you really think we'd stand a chance against Dong Zhuo either way?

ImageSong Yong: But Dong Zhuo still thinks I'm Liu Bei's greatest warrior.

ImageSong Ren: Just shut up and pass the powder.

At the north gate...

ImageZhang Fei: So how are we supposed to open the gate?

ImageLu Bu: Usually it opens if you hit it hard enough.

ImageZhang Fei: You mean like pushing it?

ImageLu Bu: Same thing for me.

ImageChen Deng: It would have helped if we'd brought a battering ram or something.

ImageZhang Fei: We could all try running into it at the same time.

ImageChen Deng: You two go ahead and do that. It will probably work best if you use your heads. I'm going to stand over here and watch.

ImageLu Bu: Ok, charge!

Zhang Fei and Lu Bu charge the gate, with little effect.

ImageLu Bu: Owww....ok, let's try it again!

Zhang Fei and Lu Bu continue to headbutt the gate.

ImageRebel Force: Uh, sir, you think we should tell them you're supposed to pull the gate open?

ImageZhang Ji: What, and spoil my fun? Just let them knock themselves out.

ImageRebel Force: I think that might take a while...

ImageLu Bu: My head...I need more wine.

At the west gate...

ImageGuan Yu: Haven't they broken the gate down by now?

ImageHuo Hu: Just be patient. Dong Zhuo's sure to try and escape out this gate, and then we can finish him off.

ImageMi Zhe: You know, the waiting wouldn't be quite so bad if we had some of that powder of yours.

ImageHuo Hu: Sorry, I left it all back at the camp with Song Ren. I didn't want to lose it when Dong Zhuo attacked.

ImageMi Zhe: Aren't you worried that Song Yong and Song Ren will use it?

ImageHuo Hu: Song Yong is already so stupid that I have trouble believing anything could further impair his mind. And I think Song Ren is a little more responsible than that.

Back at the south gate...

ImageSong Ren: I never knew my mind could expand so much. This stuff is potent.

ImageSong Yong: Hey Bro, can't I have some of that?

ImageSong Ren: Quiet, you. Just be happy with your wine.

ImageSong Yong: Hey, I think someone's coming. Did they capture the castle already?

ImageDong Zhuo: Hello there. I'm here to kill you now.

ImageSong Ren: Woah, Song Yong, when did you grow a beard?

ImageSong Yong: I didn't. It's Dong Zhuo.

ImageSong Ren: Oh. Well then. I guess we're screwed.

ImageDong Zhuo: Are you two losers the only ones guarding the camp? Shouldn't you have put more guards here in case I attacked?

ImageSong Yong: We didn't think you were that stupid.

ImageSong Ren: Yeah, and didn't you already try this plan at the last castle?

ImageDong Zhuo: What do you mean?

ImageSong Ren: I mean sending a strong force to crush our main camp. Which would have worked if Lu Bu wasn't such an idiot.

ImageDong Zhuo: Yeah, well, I'm smarter than Lu Bu and he's not even here. So this time I'm pretty sure I'm going to win.

ImageSong Yong: Not if I can help it! The way I see it, one reused joke deserves another.

ImageSong Ren: I think I know where this is going, and I don't like it.

ImageSong Yong: Come on, Bro! We have to use our special power again.

ImageSong Ren: *sigh* Normally I would object, but since I'm kind of stoned or something right now I'll let it slide.

ImageImageSong Brothers: Wonder Song Powers, Activate! *poof*

ImageXiahou Mao: Back in action!

ImageDong Zhuo:...what the hell just happened? You grow a beard and suddenly you think you can win?

ImageXiahou Mao: It worked last time. Now watch me pummel you to death!

Thirty seconds later...

ImageDong Zhuo: You may have killed me, but I will always have the bigger beard! *dies*

ImageXiahou Mao: Wow...I killed him too? Sometimes I wish could actually see these fights.

ImageLu Bu: Hey Song Ren, do you have any...wine...left...?

ImageXiahou Mao: Oh, hey Lu Bu. Back already?

ImageLu Bu: My name is Lu Bu. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

ImageXiahou Mao: Meep! *flees*

Later, inside the castle...

ImageZhang Fei: Why does it always seem that Song Yong and Song Ren end up winning these big battles? I mean, they're the weakest members of our army.

ImageGuan Yu: I don't know, and I don't really care. The point is, we killed Dong Zhuo and captured his last city. Maybe now we can get some rest.

ImageLiu Bei: Not if I have anything to say about it.

ImageImageGuan Yu and Zhang Fei: Damn it.

more to come...
--------
ImageAdam: What the hell? You can't take a break that long! I want perfect episodes, and I want them daily! *whip*

ImageTaishi Ci 2.0: Ah, what a loving fanbase...
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Unread postby Lordyuanshu » Tue Jun 05, 2007 5:57 pm

Song Ren and Song Yong are bad influences on each other. Luckily for them they're still the most powerful warlords in all of China.

Nice to see the DoaE Parody back up, it's Yuan Shu time soon!!
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