Fate of a Rebel/Parody of the Three Kingdoms

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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:23 pm

I'm not paid enough for this!

Fate of a Rebel: Part 26
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Image Taishi Ci 2.0: ...And we're back!

Image Zhang Fei: I have to say, that may have been the longest faceoff ever. But now it's time for me to finish you off.

Image Yuan Shu: Well, if you must. I can admit defeat. My only regret is OH MY HEAVEN WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU!

Image Zhang Fei: Where!? *turns to look*

Image Yuan Shu: ...

Image Zhang Fei: ...

Image Yuan Shu: ...

Image Zhang Fei: ...

Image Yuan Shu: Whoops, forget to run away. Yoink! *flees*

Image Zhang Fei: Whatever this thing is, I'm not seeing it.

Image Yang Jin: Ahoy there, matey, where be that Yuan Shu?

Image Wang Gui: I don't think the blighter is paying attention to us.

Image Yang Jin: Why would't he be?

Image Wang Gui: Could it be we're just not interesting characters? I mean, our whole basis of character is having unsual methods of talking. It's a bloody wonder we've been in the plot for this long!

Image Yang Jin: D'arr, you Koreans sure do overthink things.

Image Wang Gui: *sigh* I give up.

Image Song Ren: Here, have some powder. You'll feel better.

Image Song Yong: You sure do love that powder stuff, Bro. Anyways, were did Yuan Shu go?

Image Zhang Fei: Can't talk. Staring.

Image Huo Hu: Can't anyone do their jobs around here for once!? You were supposed to catch Yuan Shu before he could get away. Why is good help is so hard to find these days?

Image Song Ren: What can I say? Yuan Shu pays better.

Image Guan Yu: But Yuan Shu didn't pay you that powder, you just stole it.

Image Song Ren: Don't sweat the small stuff.

Image Huo Hu: Well, since Zhang Fei has clearly failed us, we'll need to send someone else to go catch Yuan Shu before he escapes again. Any volunteers?

Image Song Yong: Ooh, let me go! I'll show them my might!

Image Guan Yu: We better send someone else too. I suggest Lu Bu.

Image Lu Bu: You know guys, frankly I'm getting pretty tired of having to do all the hard jobs around here. Don't you think you guys could try treating me a little better?

Image Huo Hu: We don't pay you enough for that.

Image Lu Bu: *grumble grumble*

Image Song Yong: Right then, let's go!

Song Yong and Lu Bu go off to pursue Yuan Shu.

Image Yang Jin: So what are the rest of ye landlubbers going to do now?

Image Song Ren: My first vote would be for firing you.

Image Liu Bei: Sorry, that's not part of his contract. Or yours, for that matter.

Image Guan Yu: Liu Bei! What are you doing here already?

Image Guan Ping: We had to call him in to break up a strike.

Flashback...

Image Liang Gang: You think you're so smart, beating us up like that. Well that only means we work for your army now. We demand respect!

Image Chen Lan: Yeah, we want more rights and better pay!

Image Guan Ping: You think we should call in some scabs or something?

Image Liu Feng: Nah, let me just get my dad on speed dial...

Image Chen Lan: NPCs have feelings too, you know!

Image Liu Bei: Sorry I'm late.

Image Guan Ping: ...What, no excuse?

Image Liu Bei: I'm Liu Xuande. I don't need excuses. Now, what's the problem here?

Image Liang Gang: We want equal treatment!

Image Liu Bei: Ha, I can arrange that. Take them to the camps!

Back to the future...

Image Song Ren: Camps? What's that supposed to mean?

Image Liu Bei: Oh, they're just keeping our other officers some company...

In a distant land...

Image Xiahou Mao: All the work for this month will be handled by Liang Gang and Chen Lan. The rest of us are going on break.

ImageImage Liang Gang & Chen Lan: Damn you Xiahou Mao!

Image Xiahou Mao: Hee hee hee.

Image Huo Hu: Quit going on tangents. At least now all the important people are here.

Emperor: You forgot me.

Image Huo Hu: I said all the important people.

Emperor: ...*cry*

Image Liu Bei: Speaking of which, you did make sure to get the Imperial Seal back, right?

Image Song Ren: It would not be lying to say that it was in our possession at one point in time.

Image Liu Bei: Is that point in time now?

Image Guan Yu: No, Song Ren and Song Yong traded it for that massive bag of powder over there.

Image Song Ren: It was the best decision I've made in this whole story.

Image Liu Bei: Maybe so, but seeing as you completely failed to accomplish your goal, I'm going to have confiscate it.

Image Song Ren: Oh yeah, those new castles and forts we captured for you are really worthless, huh?

Image Liu Bei: Those are only bonuses. Now then, you need to go get the Imperial Seal back, and I mean it this time. We can't let Yuan Shu keep it.

Emperor: Because you want to give it back to me, right?

Image Liu Bei: Who are you again?

Meanwhile, at the bridge north of Nan Yang...

Image Yuan Shu: *huff huff* Oh my, how tiresome. But at least I made it away alive!

Image Song Yong: Hold it right there, Yuan Shu! I, Song Yong the Mighty, shall strike you down!

Image Yuan Shu: Hmm? Oh great, one of Liu Bei's troublesome pests. You think you can defeat me? I am Lord Yuan Shu!

Image Lu Bu: I'm here too, you know... Not that anyone seems to care anymore.

Image Song Yong: Haha, Yuan Shu. It's two to one now! Defeat me? You and what army?

Image Yuan Shao: Yuan Shu! We're here!

Image Yuan Shu: It's about time! What took you so long!? Nevermind that, save me!

Image Yuan Shao: No worries, we'll crush them!

Image Song Yong: Unexpected, but with Lu Bu at my side, I cannot lose! Time for me to--

Image Lu Bu: Sorry, no. I'm tired of all this.

Image Song Yong: What?

Image Lu Bu: I'm tired of being treated like a tool by Liu Bei's army, I'm tired of being ignored, and I'm especially tired of you and your stupid bravado! Clearly Yuan Shao is about to roll over you guys, so I'm going over to him now. Have a nice day.

Image Song Yong: Lu Bu, you've... betrayed us!?

Image Taishi Ci 2.0: What a twist!

Image Song Yong: Well, uh...

Image

Image Yuan Shao: Oh by the way, Yuan Shu, you did remember to bring the Imperial Seal with you, right?

Image Yuan Shu: Sorry, I lost it. It happens.

Image Yuan Shao: ...Then what about lots of powder?

Image Yuan Shu: Left it in my other castle.

Image Yuan Shao: You don't have another castle.

Image Yuan Shu: That's not the point! Are you going to help me or not?

Image Yuan Shao: Well I came all this way expecting you to give me something. Do you at least have that "thing in the uppper lower middle corner of your closet" or whatever it was?

Image Yuan Shu: Oh yeah, that. It's, uh... in my safe deposit box.

Image Yuan Shao: I can't believe this. I mobilize my whole army to come save you and you've got nothing to show me for it. I'm about to turn this army around right now and go back home.

Image Yuan Shu: Can I at least crash at your place for a while?

Image Yuan Shao: If you must. Alright men, let's go back to base!

Image Lu Bu: Wait, hold on! We're not going to let them go, are we!?

Image Yuan Shao: Sorry, Lu Bu, but I'm just not in the mood right now. I need to go eat some Corn Pops and then I'll feel better.

Image Yuan Shu: Yes, and then we shall recapture my cities! Long live Lord Yuan Shu!

Image Yuan Shao: Stop calling yourself that.

Image Yuan Shu: Yes sir...

Image Lu Bu: I'm surrounded by morons.

Yuan Shao's army leaves.

Image Song Yong: ...They're gone? I... I won! Song Yong the Mighty wins again!

more to come...

---

Image Liu Bei: So... Does anyone want to tell me what Zhang Fei is staring at?

Image Zhang Fei: ...
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby James » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:47 pm

Haha… excellent.

I loved it.

When is the next one? :devil:
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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:50 pm

Prediction hazy. Ask again later. 8-)
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby James » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:52 pm

When is the next one? :devil:
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Unread postby Taishi Ci 2.0 » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:56 pm

I can't make any promises.

(I'll try and do another one this week.)

Is there a way to remove that poll now, or will the readers be forever voting on Yuan Shu's fate?
"You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!"
"We have. You did. We can. No."
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Unread postby James » Sat Dec 29, 2007 12:04 am

I removed the poll for you. It is done by editing the first post. :)

Just trying to prod you into at least a 2/month activity. :lol:
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Unread postby Paler than Moon » Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:00 am

James wrote:I’ve been harassing Taishi Ci 2.0. :twisted:


Wow, Your Excellency The Admin harassed Taishi Ci 2.0. and here we are reading an update.

I say you harass him some more, Your Majesty D:

Oh and, btw is there any other parodies in the forum? I'm thirsty for more, this one make me laugh so hard...esp the part with the bartender when he was asked if he saw a man with giant beard...
"If only..."
But thou art wind!
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your fragrance deafens.
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Unread postby Ricky » Wed Jan 02, 2008 3:49 am

Gah! This was very funny. I have enjoyed this more than a day in the theaters. I can't wait for more, he he. Long live Lord Yuan Shu! :lol:
First upload.
All hail to the lord!

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Unread postby James » Thu Jan 31, 2008 2:22 am

Fate of a Rebel is the 23rd most popular page at KMA for December!*
(*Out of some 1400 files!)

/
/i/
/11/i/p/
/encyclopedia/
/downloader/
/faqs/
/downloader/index.php
/music/
/games/
/novel/bios/
/games/dl/
/dw5/characters/
/quiz/test/
/novel/
/games/dynasty_warriors/
/dw4/
/dw5/rare_items/
/11/
/dw5/
/dw3/fourth/
/dw3/portraits/
/dw5/4th_weapons/
/avatars/
/dw3/faq/
/dw3/
/portraits/
/wallpaper/
/3/
/games/three_kingdoms/
/comic/fate_of_a_rebel/

I say that is pretty darn impressive!
(Especially when it is competing with primary game pages).

Doesn't that warrant monthly (or bi, as in twice per, monthly) updates!? :D
Kongming’s Archives – Romance of the Three Kingdoms Novel, History and Games
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  — Ben Franklin
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Unread postby Paler than Moon » Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:24 am

We want updates! We want updates! Waaaah! :cry:
"If only..."
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your fragrance deafens.
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