Adam's ramblings and writings and other lame stuff

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Which do you prefer?

Happy Ending
5
56%
Unhappy ending
4
44%
 
Total votes : 9

Unread postby Adam » Wed Oct 18, 2006 12:06 am

Twice is constantly?
Well, then I guess I'll have to stop doing it, I've clearly flooded the board with that comment!
Adam
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Unread postby Shi Tong » Fri Oct 20, 2006 11:25 am

Hello Adam,

I think your writing is interesting because I think you have a good imagination. I'm not so sure about structure and grammar, but the scenes you set are quite good fun.

I think with your wild sense of humour you should stick to the more funny sides of your rambles- I like the one with the bloby style monster with one leg left- that reminds me of Monty Python "It's only a flesh wound".

On another note- I think the reason that some people dont comment is that they find it hard to get through the passages you've written because there's a lot of material, and I think some people wait to see what you write next to get more of an overview of your ideas.

Ironically I dont think these are like excepts from other stories- they seem like good starting points. Remember that not all books start "There was a man in a house, he wanted an adventure, so he went outside to find one", your ideas of "The blob with 3 arms told the blacksmith that his swords really do suck because they're not blob resistant"- or something along those lines... much more interesting :lol: Then you can think about elaborating or going back to when the blob absorbed the sword...... my god, I'm mad too, it's CATCHING!
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Unread postby Adam » Fri Oct 20, 2006 11:32 am

Well the structure is better when I've got it in wordpad or MSOffice, it's harder to figure out how to structure it so it looks decent on a message board.
If yer referring to the horrible sentence structure, however, that's mostly because I literally wrote those stories down when they came to me.
I've revised all of them on my own computer so they sound and look a bit better.
The fourth one is what I'm using for the Prologue of my story, the rest may or may not weasel it's way in at some point.

My insanity is more contagious than any disease! :devil:
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Unread postby Shi Tong » Fri Oct 20, 2006 11:41 am

haha, now I'm scared! :lol:

Can we see the reworked stories you've already told? That would give us an idea about how much they've improved.
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Unread postby Adam » Fri Oct 20, 2006 11:53 am

Yeah, I'll put 'em up later, cause I gotta fix the format to post 'em here, and I'm busy being tired at the moment.
Although yer post in Baiko's thread gave me an idea (which I had at one point and somehow lost), I'm gonna come up with some biographies on the characters.
I've got a lotta back story in my head for most of the characters, I suppose I should write it down before I forget it.
Adam
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Unread postby Shi Tong » Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:43 pm

I know this sounds geeky, but I used to love playing AD&D, and it gave me a lot of pleasure to write up a history for my character. It would give me a stance on a lot of issues for my character and meant that I could carry some character "baggage" with ideas on how they would react, or they could bring up a past experience to add to the spice of the acting.
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Unread postby Adam » Sat Oct 21, 2006 4:04 am

That is incredibly geeky :P
Well, I've based one of my characters on a guy I played Ultima Online with, he wasn't even role-playing, he was just a bit odd (Jules if yer wondering)
My only problem now is creating more backstory
As I've mentioned before I have that 150 page story (yeah yeah, still too lazy to get it recovered) which takes place a solid 5-8 years after what I'm writing now, and the backstory I had wasn't more than a couple years back (save for a few childhood references for Jules).
The writer's block has been killing me these past few weeks, so maybe this'll get me out of it.
Gods, I might as well have posted those things, I've been up for an hour after I planned to go to bed :P

Edit: Ahhh, I just realized that all of my revised stories are gone because of the system recovery...
Now it'll take me a couple hours to redo it. Yay!
Adam
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Unread postby Adam » Sat Oct 21, 2006 6:05 am

OK, I did a quick revision (I remembered most of it)
Still not that good, but it's better than it was, and I have a problem getting the part where his hand gets crushed to sound right.

--------------------
The forest was filled with a thick fog, and a chill wind blew through the trees.

A man in a dark green surcoat, and purple cape moved silently through the trees and brush, a pair or katanas ready in his hands.

"Great, they never live in a nice warm house, always somewhere cold and dank," he muttered to himself in distaste, "And always foggy."

A loud snap drew his attention to the right, and he twisted himself around, bringing up one of his katanas just in time to block a large talon slashing towards his head.

He darted backwards into a small clearing, and set his feet bringing up his weapons, one high over his head, and one low near his waist.

A large beast came out of the trees towards him, its head that of a bull and its body completely human except for writhing muscles, sharp talons where it's hands should be and hooves instead of feet.

"Great, they sent me after one of these!" he groaned, "I'm going to have to ask for more gold when I get back to Yanly."

The beast darted towards him, apparently not caring much for conversation. It was much faster than one would expect from a being of its incredible mass, but the man was prepared, and darted to the side just before it reached him.

It twisted itself around quickly, but the man scored a slash on its side before it could block his weapon.

The beast let out a horrendous yell, so loud the man had to drop his katanas to cover his now bleeding ears.

The beast took the opportunity to swipe his talons at the face of the man, tearing a large gash in his cheek, and dropping him to his belly.

The man reached out for his weapon, which was laying just a few feet away, but the beast stomped one of its enormous feet down upon his hand, shattering many of the bones, and creating an unsettling crunching sound.

The man merely grinned at the beast.

The beast paused for a moment, as if considering the man’s reaction. This pause was enough for the man to whip his other arm around, the other katana somehow in his hand, to sever the beast's leg at the knee.

The beast began to wobble visibly, but somehow managed to steady itself on its one remaining leg.

"Now, maybe I can finish you before-" he started, rising from the ground.

A slight tearing sound came from the beast's stump, and something began growing slowly from it. It appeared to be a small bloody mass at first, but was slowly taking the shape of a leg.

"Ugh," the man groaned, "If you get to heal so do I!" he reached into a pouch at his waist, pulled out a small vial, and quickly quaffed the potion.

His hand began to make that same crunching sound, but this time the bones mended. He looked at his newly healed hand and flexed his fingers, the feeling returning.

He reached down and picked up his second katana, testing his hand by twirling the weapon a few times.

The beast’s new leg was almost fully formed at this point, but it was still unable to move from where it stood.

"I know I've said I'd never attack a defenseless man," he called to it, "But I suppose yer not exactly a man!"

The man ran towards the beast at full speed, one of his weapons out like a spear, the other resting at his side. When he came close to the beast it swiped at him again, but he spun around, narrowly avoiding the beast's talons. Before he completed the spin, he brought the katana at his side up, slicing a large chunk out of the beast's already injured side.

After completing the spin he found he was now standing behind the beast. The creature's leg was still not completely formed, and it could not swivel itself about to attack him, due to the horrendous wound on it’s side.

"Hmmm, let's see, where is the heart now?" the man asked himself, drumming his fingers on the hilt of his katana, "Well, let's find out, shall we?" he grinned savagely, taking both katanas and ramming them point first into the beast's ass.

The beast let out a horrific scream, comparable to the one before, but the volume died away quickly this time.

The man shook his head in disgust, "I've been accused by many a woman of having my brain in that area, but never my heart.”

The beast made one last low moaning sound, as if agreeing with the man and then ceased its movements forever.

The man yanked his weapons from the beast's rear and wiped them on the grass, trying to remove the blood from them. He gave them a quick glance, noting some of the blood had adhered itself to the blade, but sheathed them both anyway.

He took a dagger from his left boot, and began sawing the beast's right hoof off. A small stream of the blackish gore spurted out spraying him in the face.

"Wonderful," he muttered angrily, wiping his face on his cape, then continuing to saw until the hoof finally snapped off. He put the severed hoof into a pouch at his belt, and threw the dagger on the ground in disgust.

He glanced around, looking for signs of any of the creature's friends, and seeing none, walked casually back into the fog.

------------------
And I managed to come up with a decent name for a town.
Edit: Argh, I forgot I can't indent here, had to put breaks between the paragraphs.
Last edited by Adam on Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:01 am, edited 4 times in total.
Adam
Scholar of Shen Zhou
 
Posts: 3109
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Unread postby Adam » Sat Oct 21, 2006 11:21 am

Short biography (rough draft, I'm literally writing it down outta my head right here)
Haven't come up with a date thing yet, everything sounds kinda dumb.
By date thing I mean, AD, BC, DR etc. nor have I come up with names for months, so I'm using regular months as place holders, I'll edit them into something at another time.
-------------------------
Argon Vestides - 2493-25??

Argon Vestides was born in the early morning hours of August 13, 2493.
His parents were very elite members of the nobility in the town of Noreport, they owned various shops all around the merchant quarter.

In 2498 Argon's mother died, the official cause of death was suicide, but Argon suspected otherwise, even at such a young age.

In 2500 his father's home was raided by the King's Official Guard, he was arrested and all of his shops were taken from him.
Argon had hidden away in a large closet while his father was beaten to unconsciousness and dragged to prison.
Argon again suspected something was not quite right, and vowed to find the truth.
A rich merchant purchased the house, and took Argon in. The merchant was also a veteran of the Great Cleansing (2470-2472) and Argon begged the man to teach him how to fight.

In 2508 Argon moved from the mansion in Noreport, to a small apartment with some of his childhood friends, Dern and his brother Davin.
Dern was a veteran mercenary and his brother was a skilled smithy, they both taught Argon quite a bit about weaponry, but Argon was not satisfied with only knowing how to use a sword.

In 2509 Argon moved received a message from an elven man, who claimed to be his half brother.
Argon went to see this man, and ended up leaving the Empire and going with his half-brother to the elven kingdom.

Very little is known about what happened in the years 2509-2514, but when Argon returned in late 2514 he had become a skilled mage as well as a skilled fighter.
He now carried a pair of identical katanas, both with oddly colored jewels embedded in the hilts, and he wore.
Upon his return to Noreport, he took his old home from the merchant who had purchased it from his father, and turned it into a guildhall.

Thus in 2515, at the age of 22, Argon founded the Disciples of Valor, along with his friends, Dern, Davin, Jules, Arkais, Linzi, and Kelden.
--------------
OK, really needs work, I don't even have to re-read it to know it kinda sucks.
My history is kinda changing everytime I write something new too, it's a bit of an issue, but I think I've got most of it down now.
Last edited by Adam on Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:02 am, edited 4 times in total.
Adam
Scholar of Shen Zhou
 
Posts: 3109
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2006 11:38 pm
Location: Louisiana

Unread postby Adam » Sat Oct 21, 2006 11:30 am

Another one, since it's in my mind already.
I gotta look up the village name for where Jules was born, I had it once, but it's buried in my handwritten notes and I don't feel like digging right now :P
--------------------
Jules - 2494-25??

Jules was born in the village of _____, his mother died in child birth, and his father had been slain in the Great Cleansing.
He had an older brother who decided to take care of him.
Jules childhood was uneventful, he learned how to use a scimitar at the age of 8 and became a decent fighter by the time he was 16.

In 2512 while Jules was away from town delivering something to another nearby village, a large group of rebels attacked his village.
When Jules returned he found the village razed to the ground, even the women and children lay dead.
He found his brother laying in a pool of blood, his enchanted scimitar still in his hand, laying near his brother was a dead soldier, his shield emblazoned with the symbol of Evenmere.
On that day Jules vowed to avenge his brother's death, and destroy the army of Arthur of Evenmere.

In 2515 Jules came to Noreport, hearing of a man who was searching for skilled warriors, he went to the home of a man named Argon, and told his story.
Argon invited the man to help him form his new guild, the Disciples of Valor.
------------
Yeah, another rough one I know
Adam
Scholar of Shen Zhou
 
Posts: 3109
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2006 11:38 pm
Location: Louisiana

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