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Unread postby James » Thu Feb 06, 2003 8:42 am

Scared of you in what sense, Jon?
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Unread postby Iznoach, Legendary Dragon » Thu Feb 06, 2003 8:51 am

Jonathan Wu wrote:I wonder what makes people scared of me. Sure I am not the easiest person in the world, but I have yet to eat anyone (with the exception of Blue) for wanting to talk to me.
Overall I don't think I'm such a bad guy, but it seems like a lot of people are scared of me, or rather scared of my reaction when they tell me something.
I may have my moments of anger, but they usually wash away when I get the time to rest and be calm.
Well, I don't know really what I want to say. Am I too confrontational or something? Meh..


I think I can answer that one for ya, If I may. In a wierd sense, you're somewhat of a...celebrity in the Sanguo world. You have a really strong reputation of being knowledgeable and smart. However, you have this way of saying things exactly the way you see them, which to the faint of heart may seem like hostility. I like your style actually, and have been using it in my real life dealings for years. I call it "brutal honesty". I've been familiar with you for a long time online now, and this is the only reason I could see that would scare people off. It seems to me you're just being yourself, though. I don't think you really have any menace behind most of your comments, you're just saying things like they are. But, to be blunt (and no offense intended), it seems like tact sometimes escapes you in the heat of the moment. Is that what you were looking for?
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Unread postby Zhou Gongjin » Thu Feb 06, 2003 9:41 am

Roland of Gilead wrote:
I think I can answer that one for ya, If I may. In a wierd sense, you're somewhat of a...celebrity in the Sanguo world. You have a really strong reputation of being knowledgeable and smart. However, you have this way of saying things exactly the way you see them, which to the faint of heart may seem like hostility. I like your style actually, and have been using it in my real life dealings for years. I call it "brutal honesty". I've been familiar with you for a long time online now, and this is the only reason I could see that would scare people off. It seems to me you're just being yourself, though. I don't think you really have any menace behind most of your comments, you're just saying things like they are. But, to be blunt (and no offense intended), it seems like tact sometimes escapes you in the heat of the moment. Is that what you were looking for?


Well I never really thought of it this way, really, but it does makes sense to me. I don't think I'm cut out to be a "celebrity" as you say. I like positive response to what I do, but it also bring other unnecessary burdens.

James wrote:Scared of you in what sense, Jon?


I don't know, but people are still afraid of being direct with me. They always have to hide behind someone else to tell it for them. I never liked that, especially when the people who have a problem or issue with me don't come out and say it. That can be quite frustrating at times. I love the people who have been open with me over the past months, and miraculously, they all surrivived.
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Unread postby James » Thu Feb 06, 2003 1:36 pm

Jonathan Wu wrote:I don't know, but people are still afraid of being direct with me. They always have to hide behind someone else to tell it for them. I never liked that, especially when the people who have a problem or issue with me don't come out and say it. That can be quite frustrating at times. I love the people who have been open with me over the past months, and miraculously, they all surrivived.

Ah, that is what I expected. Aside from the things mentioned by Iznoach (I refuse to use your new name, grrr..) you were also the co-admin when this forum was created. You were one of the original two administrators, and the second member to register. I can see why some people would be hesitant to approach you regarding rules or issues. You can also be cranky and confrontational, sometimes in open, if they catch you at a bad time. Those two things combined, it really isn’t much of a surprise. Fortunately a few of us are more than willing to approach you, the infamous Jonathan Wu. ;)

Outside the forum, it is probably just how you react when you are having a rough time. As I mentioned, you can be a little confrontational and closed to suggestions if you are having a horrible day. Not all that uncommon a thing I guess.
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Unread postby Zhou Gongjin » Thu Feb 06, 2003 1:47 pm

James wrote: As I mentioned, you can be a little confrontational and closed to suggestions if you are having a horrible day. Not all that uncommon a thing I guess.


As much as I hate to admit it, I think my father's physical and mental abuse over the years has affected my personality. So I might be underway to become just like him...
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Unread postby James » Thu Feb 06, 2003 2:13 pm

Jonathan Wu wrote:As much as I hate to admit it, I think my father's physical and mental abuse over the years has affected my personality. So I might be underway to become just like him...

Well, even if that is the case, the fact that you are able to see it and consider it clearly sets you apart from most people. You certainly have the ability to avoid that road, and you have never come across to me as fully having gone down that road otherwise we wouldn’t be friends. Just don’t forget what you don’t want to become.
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Unread postby Zhou Gongjin » Thu Feb 06, 2003 2:16 pm

James wrote:Well, even if that is the case, the fact that you are able to see it and consider it clearly sets you apart from most people. You certainly have the ability to avoid that road, and you have never come across to me as fully having gone down that road otherwise we wouldn’t be friends. Just don’t forget what you don’t want to become.


I would rather die than become like my dad...
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Unread postby James » Thu Feb 06, 2003 2:21 pm

Jonathan Wu wrote:I would rather die than become like my dad...

I really don’t think you are headed down that path, to be honest. Even if you can be cranky at times, that is many a mile away from what he is like. Statistically speaking many people in your situation grow up to be their parents, but I also believe that the circumstances give you a chance to grow from your past and become a stronger person, quite the opposite of them. Just never forget what you just said, and always remember the things that you hate in him, so they don’t become a part of you.
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Unread postby Zhou Gongjin » Thu Feb 06, 2003 2:36 pm

James wrote:I really don’t think you are headed down that path, to be honest. Even if you can be cranky at times, that is many a mile away from what he is like. Statistically speaking many people in your situation grow up to be their parents, but I also believe that the circumstances give you a chance to grow from your past and become a stronger person, quite the opposite of them. Just never forget what you just said, and always remember the things that you hate in him, so they don’t become a part of you.


I will try. Somehow I also feel bad for hating my dad like this..he had a rough childhood, and that messed him up too, so I don't know if I can blame him for treating me like he was treated..
*sigh* I could cry..but I have to be strong..
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Unread postby James » Thu Feb 06, 2003 2:48 pm

Well, you can’t keep things in forever, so it is okay to let your emotions go when you need to. Just keep in mind that his actions in the past cannot be justified, regardless of his own history. We can all make choices, he chose to do nothing – to simply follow the trend set by his family (according to what you say). Time for you to break the cycle.
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