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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby mrbeate » Sun Dec 01, 2013 12:42 am

I've been friends with the bully before I met Robert. He's a pretty cool guy he just likes to tease the others at times. The bullying happened during highschool but now everyone graduated already and the bully moved away. We concluded that the factors and events that happened in highschool kind of affected him. He was robbed by muggers, lost two fights, bullied, and apparently he smoked weed laced with bleach and other harmful chems.

My friends still want to be there for Robert as you don't sever childhood relations so easily. As they said he was normal up until highschool. I only hung around him when my friends were there. We all don't know what to say or do about this, just to find out one of your friends has a mental illness.
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby Sun Fin » Tue Dec 03, 2013 10:18 am

I'm going to ignore the bully issue because my feelings on that issue are too strong to give reasoned advice (did someone mention the death penalty? *looks around innocently*).

I can understand why you'd be hesitant maintaining a friendship with your friend, I find socially awkward people far harder to deal with than most people expect me to. I'm really loud in groups but I find one on one conversation tough unless I know the person involved quite well. Therefore I find one on one conversation with people who also aren't the best conversationalists in the first place an absolute bally nightmare.

However I've also found that when I've had the confidence to put my time in to talking to someone and build a relationship and be supportive to someone that I naturally find harder to it leads to very rewarding friendships.

So whilst I understand your hesitance I also urge you to take the harder option. At the very least spend time with him when your group are spending time around him, its not like you have to talk to him directly.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ― Nelson Mandela
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby mrbeate » Sun Dec 08, 2013 11:36 pm

Thanks for the advice, we all talked to Rob and he says he will start buckling down and start going to school and trying his best to get better. He stills acts strange and says alot of weird stuff. We also plan not to smoke with him anymore and make sure he quits. I don't think pot is going to help him, it seems to reveal his schizo tendencies.
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby FoxWithWings » Sun Feb 08, 2015 6:38 pm

I'm fighting depression. Again.

Started with a girl I was talking to. A buddy of mine checked her Twitter feed and discovered she had been mocking me behind my back. Calling me scrawny, laughing at the possibility of us, as if a small dog had asked for her number.

I've been struggling with this for a long time. Ever since Middle School, when I was the loner, few friends, ignored, uncared for. It made me feel worthless, like I wasn't worthy of even a consideration. My learning disability and grade problems didn't help.

It improved in High School, I had a bit more confidence. Freshman year, got my first girlfriend, she was close to cheating on me when we broke up. Sophomore year, got my second. Treated her as well as I could, she cheated on me as well. Only a one-time occasion though, it still ended things. Never had a significant other since then. All that happened for me was rejection. I was never popular, never fit in with any circle. In a way, I loved that. I enjoyed being my own man, not conforming with another's wishes. But I also felt, and knew, I was being laughed at, being mocked by what felt like nearly the entire school. To them, I wasn't good enough.

That's what my depression stems from. Not good enough. I feel worthless, devoid of any good trait, feel awashed with criticism, and complaint. It's always there too. Every time I fight it down, it only retreats, not destroyed, only bruised.
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby Dong Zhou » Sun Feb 08, 2015 8:20 pm

Your an intelligent young man Fox and I'm sorry that has happened to you as that is horrible. The young, until they mature, can be cruel in matters of love and if the lady is treating you like that, then she isn't ready for a proper relationship.

You have worth. School will the best days of some people's lives and the worst of others, I don't think anyone would pretend students have the best knack of working out what will succeed in the wider world. You have buddies and family, one day you may well find someone who you can share your life with
“You, are a rebellious son who abandoned his father. You are a cruel brigand who murdered his lord. How can Heaven and Earth put up with you for long? And unless you die soon, how can you face the sight of men?”
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby FoxWithWings » Sun Feb 08, 2015 8:38 pm

Thank you Zhou.

I'll fight it down again, all I require is time. The thing is, I've fought this fight over and over again, but always internalized it, wrestling with my personal demons on my own. Letting it out is helping, I think.

It's a very irrational depression thankfully, which means I'll have a handle on it, soon hopefully. At the worse, I'll be miserable for a week, I would never commit suicide, I love my family too much to put them through the harsh reality of my death.
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby Sun Fin » Mon Feb 09, 2015 9:24 am

Fox: Frankly schools sucks. I hated school, had few friends and was seen largely as a nerd and I never even got close to getting a girlfriend. Hang in there, I found it got better, university was amazing and so different. I still have to deal with my demons of wondering whether people actually like me (I especially struggle believing my girlfriend does as I have no frame of reference to believe girls find me attractive) but it is, gradually, becoming less of an issue. I see no reason why it can't be the same for you :).
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ― Nelson Mandela
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby FoxWithWings » Tue Feb 10, 2015 3:59 am

It is getting better Sun Fin, very much so. It's just this occasion struck me hard and fast, with an amount of force I haven't felt in years. It frightened me, to be honest, and I wanted to see if maybe externalizing it would help. Thankfully, it did.

Thanks to you both. I appreciate this very much.
"There's no one I'd rather be, than me" -Ralph
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby Xiahou Jia » Tue Feb 10, 2015 12:33 pm

You gonna be alright, Fox. The best advice i can give is to focus on something. Be it your studies or your hobbies, but you gotta move on. What's done is done and there's no point worrying about it anymore.
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby Dong Zhou » Tue Feb 10, 2015 4:38 pm

Glad it is getting better Fox and we are always here if you need to talk
“You, are a rebellious son who abandoned his father. You are a cruel brigand who murdered his lord. How can Heaven and Earth put up with you for long? And unless you die soon, how can you face the sight of men?”
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