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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby mrbeate » Wed Sep 18, 2013 2:18 am

Zhuanyong wrote: The fact that they would be willing to foot any portion of the bill is a gesture well taken from my point-of-view. Some "wealthy" parents make their children earn everything they get regardless of where they go to school...


I see what you're saying I'm just angry over the matter that they favor my older brother, and support him financially. Not to mention he's getting a car. It's hard to live up to their expectations with him around.

EDIT: When I call my parents ignorant is because that they believe if you go to university you will automatically succeed where colleges are for immigrants and low born.

Zhuanyong wrote:Did you check for any Pell grant options? Loans are additional options but you may want to stay clear of them as much as possible. I'm not sure if that is available there but, it is an option if available. I would also check Scholarships.com to see if there are any scholarships (and there usually are, though you may have to write an essay or two) that you qualify for.


Scholarships.com are only for American colleges I think.
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby SunXia » Wed Sep 18, 2013 5:24 am

If that is how your parents decided to work it then that is their choice!! At the end of the day it would hardly be fair to hold your elder brother to one set of standards and then hold you to another!! I'm sure he knew the standards and worked towards them and I doubt you only just found out about it too!!

Regardless if your parents are wealthy it is up to them to choose how they spend that money!! When they had you they agreed to raise you with everything you needed not everything you wanted!! If they are willing to pay for you to go to university then that is more of a reward for doing something they deem useful!! In the end it is their money to do with what they want, thus they are free to do it on a reward basis if they feel it is what you need!!

You are very young, you can still decide to go to university if there are less options open to you!! Your parents have made it clear and you have to us, that they want you to attend university!! And that may be something that serves you better in the future!!

When I went to Uni I got my own loans and I worked up the money to pay deposits and other things!! My two best friends/roommates got everything paid for them in terms of rent and bills from their parents so had their own loans to spend on what they wanted!! I paid my own rent and bills from my loans and yet they were the ones always bust and broke before mid-way through the semesters!! They often question why my mother and father didn't pay for my rent and bills but it was my decision to move away so my job to make things work and I'm glad my dad instilled that within me!! I did feel bad meeting my friends father for the first time in the Irish airport (after having to pay over a hundred pounds for her luggage to be taken home) and him repaying me with "So you are the one who doesn't blow her money at the first chance she gets, nice to meet you!!"

The only time I had to ask for help was when my mother and father left the back door open in our new home (in Ireland), I told them two weeks before to lock it and they brushed off my concern harshly!! My brother was in the house and her purse was stolen!! At the time, my brothers gave mother their bank numbers and pins and she kept them in her purse so brother cancelled every card assuming I did the same!! I don't trust my mother as far as I can throw her and never have so I was left in England with my Irish bankcard cancelled having to write cheques to my friend and my family to give me money from the bank, it was so cringe-worthy!!

But yeah independence is best and this is how your parents see fit to instill it, aka "You want our money, you work for it" which may seem harsh but its what they think you need!! Think of it almost like a job, getting the money (or getting paid from them) for doing something they ask!! Other than that you can taken a year out and save but that also requires dedication to not spend the money you earn!!
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby mrbeate » Thu Sep 19, 2013 12:19 am

My parents always wanted me to be ambitious and get one of those high paying respected jobs like doctors and lawyers, or go into a business office type work similar to my brother. However I'm fine with just going into the skilled trades.

Hmm so you were just able to pay for living and tuition through loans and working while in uni? You think I'll be alright if i save up next 8 months, work in college and student loans?
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby Zhuanyong » Thu Sep 19, 2013 2:12 am

mrbeate wrote:Scholarships.com are only for American colleges I think.


How about this website? You are located in Canada, correct?

http://www.scholarshipscanada.com/

I googled "college money for canadian students" and it pulled several results that I believe you probably can look into.
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby chenjiaoo » Thu Sep 19, 2013 11:48 pm

mrbeate wrote:I see what you're saying I'm just angry over the matter that they favor my older brother, and support him financially. Not to mention he's getting a car. It's hard to live up to their expectations with him around.

I honestly don't see why you should be angry. It's only natural that parents help the eldest child first. Honestly, you shouldn't expect to get the same rewards as your brother if he is more accomplished than you.

EDIT: When I call my parents ignorant is because that they believe if you go to university you will automatically succeed where colleges are for immigrants and low born.

My parents are same, if I go to some 2 year community college instead of a 4 year university, my parents would use the tuition to support my siblings or buy a new car. I don't see anything wrong with that though.

Since it is your choice to go to Niagara College for Electrical Engineering, then you shouldn't complain about having to pay it by yourself. There are plenty of good universities for engineering.

My parents always wanted me to be ambitious and get one of those high paying respected jobs like doctors and lawyers, or go into a business office type work similar to my brother. However I'm fine with just going into the skilled trades.


Engineering is also a respected and high paying job. Your parents are wrong to think otherwise. To be honest, even though engineering isn't as high paying as doctor or lawyer or business, I still think that engineering is way more respectable of a job. Just think about where those doctors and businesses would be without the technologies created by engineers.


Hmm so you were just able to pay for living and tuition through loans and working while in uni? You think I'll be alright if i save up next 8 months, work in college and student loans?

This is definitely possible, in fact, I've heard that the majority of American students don't get financial support from their parents.
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby mrbeate » Fri Sep 20, 2013 6:48 am

Zhuanyong wrote:How about this website? You are located in Canada, correct?


I am, wow haha thanks. Only thing I did was email the college's financial aid program. They replied that if my savings and osap loans aren't enough they may be able to help.

chenjiaoo wrote:I honestly don't see why you should be angry. It's only natural that parents help the eldest child first. Honestly, you shouldn't expect to get the same rewards as your brother if he is more accomplished than you


He's not really the eldest child. I have an older half brother on my father's side. My father kicked him out when I was a wee lad. The point is I thought my parents would support my decisions and help me through all of this since they did it with my brother. I was wrong.

chenjiaoo wrote:My parents are same, if I go to some 2 year community college instead of a 4 year university, my parents would use the tuition to support my siblings or buy a new car. I don't see anything wrong with that though.

Since it is your choice to go to Niagara College for Electrical Engineering, then you shouldn't complain about having to pay it by yourself. There are plenty of good universities for engineering.


I'm eager to start my apprenticeship soon and get put into the workforce. What I don't understand is why my parents put universities on a pedestal when I don't really see the big difference between colleges and universities, in regards to my program.

I'm really starting to think I can make it on my own. I just needed to be assured since well all of my friends and highschool mates had help from their family. I didn't know so many people could do this by themselves.
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby SunXia » Fri Sep 20, 2013 3:29 pm

Well that is part and parcel of growing up learning to make your own decisions and following through with them!! But as said before, it is still your parents money and everyone has standards!!
If becoming enlightened or an intellectual means I must become arrogant and coldly cynical about the world around me then I'd gladly remain a fool for the rest of my life!!

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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby Aygor » Fri Sep 20, 2013 6:44 pm

I agree with what Xia, Zhuanyong and Chenjiaoo have said.

Since the tuition level offered by a 2 year college and a 4 year university (If I understood correctly, although I think that this would be the case whatever the lenght of the courses are) is obviously different I would personally choose the latter -moreover if my parents were willing to endorse that choice- as an investiment on myself to become a better professional in the future rather than rushing to begin to work as soon as possible, just my opinion.

I may be wrong, but it almost sounds like your choice is founded more on resentment due to them not being willing to back your decisions regardless of what these are rather than something you actualy do firmly want.
If that where the case, I would just say that what your parents are doing is trying to point to you what they think is best to you in the long term, as they likely did with your brother who choosed accordingly.

In the end whatever you will decide to do will start a new path in your life, I wish you the best with it.
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby mrbeate » Fri Sep 20, 2013 10:28 pm

Aygor wrote:Since the tuition level offered by a 2 year college and a 4 year university (If I understood correctly, although I think that this would be the case whatever the lenght of the courses are) is obviously different I would personally choose the latter -moreover if my parents were willing to endorse that choice- as an investiment on myself to become a better professional in the future rather than rushing to begin to work as soon as possible, just my opinion.


I'm trying to become an electrician and to become a fully licensed journeyman you need 9000 hours of apprenticeship work. Which would roughly take 5 years. You can become an apprentice with just a highschool diploma but I figured 2 years of college training would set me up better for an apprenticeship. A 4 year university degree in this field won't make a difference you still have to become an apprentice. The university program may give you more options in pursuing various careers in electrical engineering but electrician is what I'm aiming for I'm not about to lose 2 years and much more money on university.

Aygor wrote:I may be wrong, but it almost sounds like your choice is founded more on resentment due to them not being willing to back your decisions regardless of what these are rather than something you actualy do firmly want.
If that where the case, I would just say that what your parents are doing is trying to point to you what they think is best to you in the long term, as they likely did with your brother who choosed accordingly.


This is something I need. I was raised vastly different from my brother. All my life I've been sheltered and coddled by my parents, at the same time however they rarely taught me anything. I was spoon-fed by my mom until I was 6, and she would sleep in the same room as me until I was 12 even though she had her own private bedroom. I only overcame these things after I talked to other kids and found out that it was not normal for parents to do this. They never pushed me to grow up like they wanted me to stay a child for as long as they can. I would always spend my summers with my older cousin and half brother whom I made my role models. They taught me how to ride my bike, manners, morals and ethics.

Moving out and being on my own is what I need to do. Thanks for the help everyone I'll let you all know if I make it in a bout a year :D .
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Re: Problems? Need help or support? Let us offer it to you

Unread postby capnnerefir » Wed Oct 16, 2013 10:30 pm

I don't usually open up about my personal problems, but I need to let off some stress about this.

I think I'm going to get expelled from college.

Long story short, the financial aid office neglected to tell me some very important things and now I don't have my financial aid package for this semester. The business office has decided that I've gone long enough without paying them and are demanding that I give them around $3,000 by Monday or I'll be expelled from school. Ditto if I can't come up with another $3,000 by November 15.

A lot of this is mostly my fault and I'm pretty thoroughly screwed. I definitely can't come up with the money by Monday, so it looks like I'll be getting kicked out of college.
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