Catfishing experiences

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Catfishing experiences

Unread postby Equinox » Tue Sep 19, 2017 7:58 pm

Have any of you ever experienced (or participated in) catfishing? For those of you unaware of what that means, it's a term that originated from the 2010 film Catfish, whereupon one person lures another into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona.

While I personally have never been involved in a deceptive relationship per se that started this way, I will admit that I at times misrepresented myself when I first started going on the internet. I was an insecure teenager with all kinds of self-image issues and also, having grown up watching America's Most Wanted and other crime shows, I was perhaps overly paranoid about having my real life information posted online. Sometimes I would give pseudonyms while playing online games or in internet chatrooms, and when people inevitably got curious, I often felt the need to continue the mythology and build on these untruths. I never did it for any kind of personal gain, but rather because I wasn't always comfortable in my skin, and because I was quite lonely in my offline life. I was an awkward kid who had all sorts of issues with self-confidence, and very much an outsider at school. I was going through a rough time and looked to the internet for escapism.

As I've gotten older, I've found that relationships based on dishonesty almost never end well. Even if you've spent years talking to someone online, you can never be 100% sure they are who they say they are. The truth will always come out, either sooner or later, and oftentimes this means feelings will be hurt.

So anyone have any catfish stories? I'd love to hear about everybody else's experiences!
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Re: Catfishing experiences

Unread postby Sun Fin » Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:54 pm

I've never cat-fished, what you see is what you get with Sun Fin. I'm unaware of anyone ever lying about who they are to me. However in the decade I've been involved in forums I've built quite a lot of relationships and I suspect statistics would suggest that at least one of them misrepresented themselves.
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Re: Catfishing experiences

Unread postby Aaron.K » Wed Sep 20, 2017 3:17 am

I don't have any stories in particular, but I often don't use my real name when it comes to things being ordered online. Main reason being if I get anything else addressed to me with that name, I know where they got the information from. I don't worry about it too much, but I am generally concerned about tracking, so pretty much all of my purchases online are using pre-paid gift Visa credit cards that you can get from the Post Office here quite easily. They function exactly like any other credit card (I can even add the funds to a Paypal wallet), and there's no ties to me with them, even with the loading of money onto them since I always pay that with cash.

The only thing I can say that probably counts as catfishing, is that a long time ago, when I first started going online I would never give my actual birth date. I was a bit paranoid about personal information (I technically still am, but I'm not as serious about it like I used to be), so I tried my hardest to make sure that the real me wasn't connected with the online me in regards to information like that. I still told real anecdotes or other stories and events that actually happened to me, but I kept a lot of details vague for privacy reasons.
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Re: Catfishing experiences

Unread postby Sun Fin » Wed Sep 20, 2017 7:08 am

Aaron.K wrote:The only thing I can say that probably counts as catfishing, is that a long time ago, when I first started going online I would never give my actual birth date. I was a bit paranoid about personal information (I technically still am, but I'm not as serious about it like I used to be), so I tried my hardest to make sure that the real me wasn't connected with the online me in regards to information like that. I still told real anecdotes or other stories and events that actually happened to me, but I kept a lot of details vague for privacy reasons.


Is this why when I first encountered you, you went by names lie Beowulf instead of Aaron.K?
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Re: Catfishing experiences

Unread postby Aaron.K » Wed Sep 20, 2017 7:21 am

No. I still go by various usernames on forums based on what I'm into at the time. On Nine Dragons I was really into Beowulf back then, so I used it as a username. When I was a moderator on Koei, I was quite enamored with Yue Fei, so I used that username on a number of sites.

When I say I didn't use my real name, I mean I'd use "Aaron" and then a phony last name (which I still use to this day, so I won't actually say what it is) when ordering from somewhere like Amazon or Ebay or the like.

As for why I go by "Aaron.K" here, it's primarily because I used to have an old account which I couldn't remember the name of, or the password, or the email address I used, or the password to the email address I used. So when I made this account, in order to avoid all that I just used my given name and initial. At the time I was also kind of trying to focus on professionalism, which is another reason. This is probably the only site where I'll ever use "Aaron.K" though (outside of Facebook, which they will delete your account if you have an odd name and can't prove that it isn't your real name, as a few of my friends have had happen to them).
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Re: Catfishing experiences

Unread postby Sun Fin » Wed Sep 20, 2017 7:39 am

I can understand that. There have been a few times when I've considered going back and editing my name out of all posts on here! I really can't be bothered though :lol:
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Re: Catfishing experiences

Unread postby SunXia » Sun Oct 08, 2017 3:05 am

I have never Catfished and I don't think I ever will. The closest I ever came to it was I remember having a discussion with a member here about joining dating site for Giggles. I did and have a shadowy picture of me (never know it was me) and entered all dots as my info. I just wanted to see what it was all like before shutting it down. Got a lot of posts and shut it down quickly.

This year I joined for seriousness as I found it difficult to deal with chronic condition and meet new people so I jumped on it and gave an honest. I wrote out a massive paragraph about my life and interests and illness and such. Of course included pictures of myself.

I actually laughed at many of the offers and such I got because I would know they seen my picture, found me attractive and ignored the rest. Others would be just a little better, saw my picture, found me attractive, saw was a gamer and that was all they cared about. Hell the "heartbroken" nerdy guys were actually worse because they would pretend they wanted a relationship and then "Oh I'm too broken for heartache" blah blah despite still flirting and pinging you every chance they get. I despised the "We would get along well" right off the bat despite their profile being next to bare and judging it based on gamer or geek and like "OK do I get a say in that" because I despise a lot of types of elitist subculture and such. Like ask for info on them and they do this "oh I'm not interested in an online friend" and I'm like rolling my eyes. Sorry I'm not going to meet up with a person based on YOU'RE opinion of me, how's that fair.

But found my partner there and I actually pinged or sent a "meet me" to him. I read his profile, and do mg I love when someone makes an effort on their profile instead of "just average" or "prefer to talk it out" sheesh tell me stuff about yourself. But I loved his profile but I left it up to him to see if he liked mine and he read it and immediately message me. I could tell he was interested in getting to know me and not just messaging me about how hot I was or whatever. (note I believe attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder)

But could tell we were both worried about catfishing or whatever as we were careful first few times. I have had some awful experiences before with people too intensely interested in me. At first its endearing but can become very oppressive and suffocating. So we were both careful but after a few months we were pretty comfortable and well rest is history.

I do have a recent catfish story though in last year. But I was interested in learning about DnD as its not something I was ever exposed to here. My friend added me to a group with him and other online friends so I could learn and the only person who decided no was the female of the group. She was "dating" one of the other people in the group, one of the biggest narcissists I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. They had never met to DATE but I digress the online "dating" scene still confuses me and to date someone I thought dates were required. Anyway he was a "millionaire" but didn't have access to his assets because he was under investigation. He used to share pics of himself like he was gods gift but he wasn't my cuppa but anyway. The girl joined me and my friend frequently on other games but when "her boyfriend" would message me, say he had a friend who was interested in me who wanted to use his account to flirt with me. When I said this to my friend and the girl suddenly I am the bad guy. Caused a few argument with me and my friend like I shouldn't say stuff like that to make her jealous and I refused to be held back by her feelings. If she believes herself in love with this narcissist she hasn't met its not my fault if he's messaging me.

Anyway turned out he was a fake, the pics he shared we of a skinny punk guy but he was obese guy who had a police record for harassing women at conventions.
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