Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Shozuhn » Fri Jun 05, 2015 3:02 pm

My Mom tried to talk me into this... but Idk...
I've always kinda gotten the feeling that online dating was for people 40+, and that the chance of finding someone my own age there was unlikely. I've also learned to not trust people that I can even see every day. So the idea of dating online and trying to trust someone I don't technically even know... naw. Not for me.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby lcklasman » Fri Jun 05, 2015 9:16 pm

SunXia wrote:
Bush Leagues wrote:
SunXia wrote:I don't think I would ever try online dating mainly because of the experiences I've had with people pretending to be one thing and definitely being another in real life. I abhor being around liars and people who pretend to be something they are not.


Definitely easier to misrepresent yourself on the internet than real life. But there's no reason to assume people are automatically hiding things either. I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. :D


Of course it's no reason to assume this but having to rush through random streets when you aren't well then grab a buddy from a local house to walk you the rest of the way just to make sure someone you met online is not stalking you is not a great feeling in the slightest.

It is so easy to get to know people and to feel like you know them because you don't have the pressure you have in real life. I know I have social issues and dislike people looking at me, I used to be fine with it but I've become more recluse and shy and a lot less open to people due to my experiences.

My online friend is coming to my hometown for a convention so I'm tempted to meet him, especially since he has a girlfriend so won't make me feel awkward or pressured in that way. i would love to Cosplay but I have heard it can get rough for people cosplaying like people touching in large crowds!! Hate being touched!

I feel so bad for the lady cosplayers. As a guy people are always like dude he looks sick or hes awesome but females I know who cosplay get dude look at her huge butt or boobs and then get touchy touchy. It is disgusting and I hate it. Females deserve just as much respect as the males do.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Boydie » Sat Jun 06, 2015 1:45 pm

Thanks for the insightful replies guys; and LiuBeiwasGreat, that was a great reply. But looks like I won't be needing to use it, out of pure dumb luck! :lol:

But to add to the debate; there is a stigma attached to it which did have me weary, especially here in the UK and that is not an attack on anyone who does use or has used it in the past for the right reasons. But I have had read some horror stories about it. But some of the replies here have opened my mind to it.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Bush Leagues » Sat Jun 06, 2015 10:47 pm

lcklasman wrote:I feel so bad for the lady cosplayers. As a guy people are always like dude he looks sick or hes awesome but females I know who cosplay get dude look at her huge butt or boobs and then get touchy touchy. It is disgusting and I hate it. Females deserve just as much respect as the males do.


Seconded. I really dislike the whole "fanservice" thing in general. I mean, I get it - if your main audience is teenage boys, and horniness is probably the number one defining feature of a teenage boy :lol: , appealing to that is good business sense.

But, really. Chainmail bikinis (and its ilk) are silly and not at all appealing. It becomes a bit frustrating for me as a guy - when I play tabletop RPGs, I almost always play a woman, and trying to find a reasonable picture of what I want to represent that isn't half-naked, or with ridiculous proportions, is hard to find sometimes.

...Just to expand on that point a bit, there are definitely some things women have to worry about that I really never have. I've never really worried about getting leered at, or groped, or raped, or taken advantage of by "friends" if I get too drunk at a party. But then I do think I did get touched once while I was on a bus, but I was a teen, and it could only have been a girl that did it (couldn't be sure who did it), and I was still a virgin and girlfriend-less, so I quickly made a joke about it and dropped it. I would definitely react differently today.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Ranbir » Sun Jun 07, 2015 10:13 am

Don't overthink it, really the milestone mark is actually meeting them for the first time. Usually its something very casual so both sides have a chance to slip out if it doesn't feel like its worth the time.

I have had my share of crazy situations but they are by no means exclusive to online dating.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Sun Fin » Mon Jun 08, 2015 3:37 pm

Shozuhn wrote:My Mom tried to talk me into this... but Idk...
I've always kinda gotten the feeling that online dating was for people 40+, and that the chance of finding someone my own age there was unlikely. I've also learned to not trust people that I can even see every day. So the idea of dating online and trying to trust someone I don't technically even know... naw. Not for me.


I think if you are looking for a serious relationship than you use it to met someone in the local vicinity in all fairness.

Yeah I hadn't realised how bad a problem gropping was in night clubs. Like being a boy and one who would never think of behaving like that I didn't realise that it was widespread until I went out one night with my girlfriend and several of her friends. As for taking advantage of a friend who had too much to drink I've definitely seen that happen both ways.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Huang Bob » Sun Jul 26, 2015 7:14 pm

Yes, and it can be a chore. My buddy found his wife this way, and when I told him I was going to try it, he told me be prepared to read a lot of similar profiles. He wasn't wrong. A lot of them say they like the same things and are looking for the same things. Doesn't really come off as all that honest, in my opinion.

One suggestion I will make for people trying it, have a close friend write your profile. I'm pretty modest and don't like talking about myself that much, so my profile left a lot to be desired (but at least it was brutally honest). I was going to let someone write mine but I haven't gotten back in to looking.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby SunXia » Thu Mar 30, 2017 12:00 am

I decided to try this recently. It took about two months of building up the courage to do it.

I went on my first few dates in 6 years in October because the guy was a nerd but worked with me and it sadly didn't work out. I don't want to work with someone I date and I don't get out much due to the cycle of work pain needing to rest and repeat. If I do get out its special occasions and drunk guys are a turn off for me now. Well not every drunk guy, be merry as you like but drunkenly coming on to me makes me want to vomit.

Anyway so I decided to throw hat in there and it freaked me out at first. Someone did call me handicapped derogatorily because I missed his message out of hundreds. I laughed as well words can't hurt me much anymore. But taking my time looking for someone with shared interest.

Gradually getting over the stigma of it.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Dong Zhou » Fri Mar 31, 2017 2:16 pm

Hope it works out for you Sun Xia
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Ranbir » Fri Mar 31, 2017 11:55 pm

That's a big step, considering, so good on you for making it.

And oh yeah, ladies have a shit load of messages to get through. I gotta stand out but not put so much effort that it feels wasteful. I've resorted to bizarre poetry now and then.

-------

Tried Tinder. The whole flirting thing is not me, I rather direct while still managing to seem uninterested; small talk is so boring. It is actually as much of an effort to be sociable online/phone as it is in real life. For an introvert that takes a lot out of me.

I also tried bristlr. This is a tinder like app for beards and beard lovers.

My preferred dating locale is the British Library. Because let's look at informative stuff
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