Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Zyzyfer » Sat Apr 01, 2017 2:38 am

bristlr? That's an awesome concept!
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby SunXia » Sat Apr 01, 2017 9:03 pm

Ranbir wrote:That's a big step, considering, so good on you for making it.

And oh yeah, ladies have a shit load of messages to get through. I gotta stand out but not put so much effort that it feels wasteful. I've resorted to bizarre poetry now and then.


It is a big step, I have a history of very clingy people to the point of suffocation and sadly, while I don't want to judge people on their mental state, I have to watch out for the red flags on the matter. I can't have negative nancies. I just can't. We would never be compatible in a romantic setting.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Ranbir » Sun Apr 02, 2017 10:04 pm

I've also tried bumble, where the lady has to message first.

The least active app.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby SunXia » Tue Apr 04, 2017 2:19 am

Oh my, I accidentally messaged a guy first recently on PoF, never hit the flirt button before, thought it would give me a small window to confirm but still messaging him ha!

I personally hate gender roles and yet it is one social stigma I can't bring myself to work around unless I'm wasted and the last time I pulled wasted I was 21!

It's been so drilled into us from we are kids that the guy is the active one that even me, who often flouts social norms, and have arguments with my brothers and father when I buy partners a drink, I still can't get over that hump of approaching a guy first.

I am determined that the generation of kids around me have access to diverse situations and scenarios.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Zyzyfer » Tue Apr 04, 2017 2:41 am

SunXia wrote:It's been so drilled into us from we are kids that the guy is the active one that even me, who often flouts social norms, and have arguments with my brothers and father when I buy partners a drink, I still can't get over that hump of approaching a guy first.


It's interesting how that is a thing. I am very fortunate because both of my long-term relationships got started from the woman approaching me. I don't have any problems conversing with women but am terrible at "pulling", so it saved my butt.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Sun Fin » Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:02 am

Zyzyfer wrote:
It's interesting how that is a thing. I am very fortunate because both of my long-term relationships got started from the woman approaching me. I don't have any problems conversing with women but am terrible at "pulling", so it saved my butt.


I am also lucky that my now wife asked me where we were going after we had been texting a few months otherwise we would probably still be texting... :lol:
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby dymlos timbre » Sat Apr 22, 2017 12:59 pm

My online dating experience is a bit of a mixed bag but one constant theme is that it always ended in failure. I have had some terrible times with people and some were just flat out crazy but 4 years ago i met one woman who was incredible. Unfortunately a past relationship left her with some personal issues, and we could never advance in our relationship, Good girl and i hope she is doing well now.

But other than that one example most dates got a little heated quickly, now I'm just like any other guy and i do like messing around, however not on the first date and especially not a first date with someone i met online, but a lot of my dates seemed like it was an attempt at a quick release while i was going to try and actually get to know someone.

I guess you can say i'm a little grateful for it though since now i know i'm ok with just being me until the girl of my dreams comes and completely catches me off guard.
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby Jebusrocks » Sun Apr 23, 2017 7:01 pm

Recently just started using Okcupid and honestly its been working pretty great for me! I recently moved to a new city (Vancouver) so its a pretty good way of meeting people, even if it doesn't work out imo
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Re: Online Dating - Anyone tried it?

Unread postby SunXia » Thu Aug 30, 2018 1:42 pm

So people know last year I tried online dating.

My experience is that it works it you are open and honest on what you want and what you are.

The first date I went on from it was basically a really dishonest guy. Now course, I didn't go on a date with him knowing he was dishonest. His profile stated that he wanted a long term relationship. In reality he did not want a long term relationship. Just wanted to use me while telling me he didn't want to use me but still trying to use me.

Now I have no problem with people just wanting sex with others. Its completely fine and it should be ok to be honest about it. No problem with it, have had several healthy non committed relationships before. When both parties want the same things and are honest and open about it then its fine. Lying, now that's something else. Just be honest with yourself and others, I;m sorry but your "depression" is not an excuse I am willing to accept as a get out clause.

But anyway, by May 2017 I had started talking to someone new. I was the one who hit the "yes please" button so to speak. And he messaged me right back. And we started talking. We went on a date middle of May and hell we were both awkward as hell but we laughed about it and got over it. Took me two months to fully commit to saying yes to being official. I was very scared that my illness would become a source of resentment for him.

However a year later I'm very happy with him. We share a lot of interests. And neither of us really enjoy drinking a lot and we just love spending time in each others company. Bounce off each other really well. And the most important part is that he's embraced my love of my niece and nephews. I am very close to them, the elder two lost the dad early in life so I'm literally a second mother to them except I'm more of a disciplinarian than their mother. I mean, that sounds horrible but they don't get their own way with me but they also get out a lot with us. We love taking them for drives, gives their single mother a bit of a break. They love it when he shows up, especially the youngest he's become my partners little mucker. My family often ask him if he doesn't get fed up with me always talking about the kids and no he loves it. Loves how I cherish watching them learn.

Most importantly, he's amazingly supportive when it comes to my illness. Been having a bad flare up recently and he's been amazing helping me get through it. He researched it before our first date to make sure he didn't overdo anything. MY family often accuse him of spoiling me but he merely tells them their not the ones watching me struggle just to get to the loo. He's awesome.

But yeah anyway, onto what I think of Online Dating:
-The amount of messages that flooded my phone scared the hell out of me at first. I've never been comfortable with cat-calling, its not fun and its scares women. I don't know if it scares men too.
-I'm not fan of people who demand a date right away that second. Forgive me if I am wrong, but I thought one of the benefits to online dating was getting to know a person until you feel safe enough meeting up with them. But so many would just argue that they weren't looking for a pen friend and be quite nasty about it.
-No i do not need an unsolicited image of your nether regions, while sure it may be funny but its not going to make me want to date you because obviously you have no problem sending pictures of yourself to strangers.
-However having patience can be a great reward. So many were just messaging me over and over despite me saying I was no interested. I mean that's a bit desperate and doesn't make me feel like a person, just an object.
-It only works with honesty.
If becoming enlightened or an intellectual means I must become arrogant and coldly cynical about the world around me then I'd gladly remain a fool for the rest of my life!!

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