Is sex outside of.........

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Unread postby animetayl » Fri Aug 16, 2002 11:20 am

I think that it's very sad, the way that so many marriages end in divorce. Especially if the couple has had children.
I don't think of marriage the way you do at all, Rowde.
To me, marriage is like an oath between two people. An oath that says "I will love you, and only you until the day I die."
I've heard from a lot of people that sex is not a big deal. Of course, they've been with how many people, for who knows what reasons. The point I'm trying to make, is that I've never heard someone in a stable marriage say that. I guess I can't really get too much into this topic, because I'm a virgin- so I don't know. But what I'm hearing, is that the people who are with someone that really cares about them thinks that it is special.
Time is extremely precious. But I don't think you can classify having sex and playing video games in the same category of using it. Again, I don't know, but it seems to me that having an intimate relationship with someone that you truly love does not seem like a waste of time at all. Really, when you're on your deathbed, it is not how much money you made, or how much things you had, or how famous you were, that you will be thinking about. It is your loved ones and your memories of them that you will be thinking of. And I bet everyone on their deathbed wishes that they spent less time on the meaningless things and more time with those they truly care about.
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Unread postby James » Fri Aug 16, 2002 11:45 am

I do not believe that there is anything wrong at all with sex outside of marriage. As a matter of fact, religion is the only reason why people today think it is wrong in the first place. Cheating on someone is wrong because it hurts someone; sex outside of marriage is (or should be) a normal part of humanity because it is a natural part of us. Marriage, however, is not natural, but instead a man-made concept.

But as Dragon_Girl said, you need to be thoughtful and careful in today's society. If you make a "mistake" you should be ready to take care of it.

And most important of all: living with and being intimate with someone you want to marry before marriage is the best way to prevent a divorce. Sometimes people think they are right for each other but later find out that it just isn't the case. There is no way to know for certain until you experience the life of marriage before marriage occurs. Sorry, I pity the people who are married to a person they don't love, but lack the strength to move on.
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Unread postby Jonathan » Fri Aug 16, 2002 2:21 pm

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sex outside a marriage in my views; I don’t even understand the idea of virginity. Sex and desiring it is a human trait (Though sometimes you need to be careful about who you desire it with, and how often you indulge those fantasies) I see things the way Dragon girl and Zhuge Kongming do as well, you need to be careful about cheating, and avoid hurting people (Sex isn’t worth emotional pain, how could something that makes you happy for only a few hours be worth hurting someone for weeks or longer?)

I agree with Zhuge Kongming about the need to “be married” before you really are as well, you learn everything there is to know about someone after you become intimate while living together. People can be completely different from when you knew them in your past experiences.
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Re: Is sex outside of.........

Unread postby Zhou Gongjin » Fri Aug 16, 2002 2:29 pm

Manipulated Destiny wrote:Is only sex outside of marriage wrong? or ..and topic sentence to each selection.

A long-term and commited relationship? ( 2 year +) Wrong? Ok?
A commited relationship (one year ) Wrong ? Ok?
A semi-commited relationship ( six months tops) Wrong ? ok?
Or is sex just a physical act that in no way implys emotional feelings toward the person you are having it with, and it (sex outside of the relationship)is ok no matter what kind of reationship your in.


Cheating on your partner in any case is wrong, wether you have been together a day or ten years, wether you live together or apart.
Cheaters are low life scum.

Edit: Oh you were asking if its ok to have sex before marriage? No it's not.
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Unread postby Dennis » Fri Aug 16, 2002 10:43 pm

Wow, very interesting responses.. now to hit you with a statistic.

%9 of men plan to marry the first woman they have sex with.
%54 of women plan to marry the first man they have sex with.

What does this mean? Really, I am not entirely sure myself and can only say that there will be a lot of very hurt girls out there.

I myself think it's ok, in my current relationship we have had sex, but she has been my first and only, so to call people who choose to have sex befpre marriage as promiscious is kind of ignorant. At any rate, I agree a hybrid with Rowde and Jame/Jonathan/D_G.

I do agree with Rowde that to some people sex is kinda just like reading a book, or playing a sport, if you enjoy it, do it; always remember though, play safe. I also agree with J-squared and D_G though, it's nice if it means something, and also I think cheating is horrendous and cruel, like that statistic above states, a lot of girls think differently than guys and we have to be there for them if that's what they expect, but if everyone knows the rules of the game, play is with heart.
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Unread postby Manipulated Destiny » Sat Aug 17, 2002 2:21 am

Marrying someone for any other reason other then love and the desire to be with no other person is crazy. So whats married guy who wants to have sex with other women/men to do? Get a divorce. Do not carry on extramarital affiars, that just hurts all the people involved. IMHO if you JUST want to have sex and do NOT want to be in committed relationship, then don't get into one. Starting a long-term relationship with one party thinking "I love this person" and the other thinking " I cannot wait any longer to have sex with this person." is a HORRIBLE way to start it, and it will only end in one or ( and more likely) both members becoming frustrated and disappointed.
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Unread postby Pappy O'daniels » Sat Aug 17, 2002 8:07 am

Definitely in agreement about the sham that is marriage, and anything tied to it. Right behind Gospel and the Books themselves, it's the third most dastardly evil invention of the major religions. I tend to think of it as simple pleasure, but not quite as pleasurable as my other pasttimes. I'd rather have a date with Bristol Cream than Heidi Klum. :P
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Unread postby Ju Bei » Sat Aug 17, 2002 8:15 am

I believe that sex, is not wrong at all, unless its forced upon the other. i dont see how it would be wrong, because if it was, then it wouldnt feel so good to do it...right? lol
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Unread postby Sima Hui » Thu Jan 01, 2004 3:41 am

There is nothing wrong with it outside of marriage. The cavemen managed for a few hundred thousand years didn't they? As long as they are prepared for any consequences that's okay.
Last edited by Sima Hui on Mon Oct 18, 2004 8:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Unread postby James » Thu Jan 01, 2004 5:23 am

On the topic of marriage, it was hinted earlier by animetayl, elaborated upon by Iznoach, that it also stands as a manifestation of commitment. I said myself that it isn’t natural, and in saying that I simply mean that it isn’t in our own instincts. A man’s instinct is to be less committed to a relationship than a woman, the statistics posted by Dennis reflect this nicely.

I believe it is a very healthy approach for a woman to make sure that she is with the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with before she has sex with them, and I believe they should wait until they have absolutely no doubts in their mind before putting them in a situation that could change their life forever for better or worse. I’ll not say it is wrong to have sex outside of marriage, as long as this single prerequisite is met, though it is also just fine for people to insist on waiting.

I still stand by my opinion that we find other people to be very different in some cases once we live with them, and I do not agree with the decision by many faiths that it is wrong to live with someone you are not married to. I don’t need some people to tell me what situations I can and can’t behave myself under, I know how to handle myself, and I’ve learned that spending time living with someone before marriage can mean the difference between spending the rest of your life with the woman you love, and blundering into a divorce or unhappy relationship held together ‘for the kids’.

Yes, it is obvious my view has changed some over the last year and a half.
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