Child Neglect

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Unread postby Han Xin » Tue Jun 25, 2002 1:49 pm

Dragon_Girl wrote:The parents are the one to blame if they neglected the kids. They say "A parent never looks bigger than in his own child's eyes." This lead to stupid copying of attitude like becoming a drug junkies, or molester.


Well, that only true in countries where parents could still freely belt their kids. In Australia or any one of these western develope countries, a parent could be throw into jail for hitting a kid.


Dragon_Girl wrote:The real problem with this is, we simply couldn't do anything much on helping these kids. The parents all have cunning ways to keep the kids working, but keeping them away from social helpers. This lead to undiscovered abuse, molests, and slaving.

For one reason or another, I will never ever doubt to help these kids, but we ourselves have to think about what can we do, before we actually do it.


NO...in poorer family is the matter of priority. My father live in a family of 10 children, his and his elder brother had to quit school to work to help sending his brothers and sisters to school. Yet for most people living in rich countries, going to school is a right however, in poorer countries, going to school is a privilege.
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Unread postby Maria » Tue Jun 25, 2002 2:12 pm

Han Xin wrote:
Dragon_Girl wrote:The parents are the one to blame if they neglected the kids. They say "A parent never looks bigger than in his own child's eyes." This lead to stupid copying of attitude like becoming a drug junkies, or molester.


Well, that only true in countries where parents could still freely belt their kids. In Australia or any one of these western develope countries, a parent could be throw into jail for hitting a kid.


Most of them left unnoticed however. You don't really know what happened under one's roof.


NO...in poorer family is the matter of priority. My father live in a family of 10 children, his and his elder brother had to quit school to work to help sending his brothers and sisters to school. Yet for most people living in rich countries, going to school is a right however, in poorer countries, going to school is a privilege.


This is true, but I was talking about parents who neglect their kids feeling and make them work to fulfil the parent's own selfish desire. Like molesting for sexualk desire, stealing to get money, and so on. My dad and mom too had to do double job, working in the evening and going to school in the morning. They worked, but not out of parents twisted mind.
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Unread postby Han Xin » Tue Jun 25, 2002 2:20 pm

Dragon_Girl wrote:This is true, but I was talking about parents who neglect their kids feeling and make them work to fulfil the parent's own selfish desire. Like molesting for sexualk desire, stealing to get money, and so on. My dad and mom too had to do double job, working in the evening and going to school in the morning. They worked, but not out of parents twisted mind.


Well, if you look at some poor asian countries when parents sell their girls into prostitution, most people view it as the parents were selfish and stuff, but in many instant, they have to sacrifice one child to give another child a better future. I am not condoning this type of conduct in any case, but sometime one have to look at the total picture before calling a parent bad... Usually, society is to blame...
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Unread postby Maria » Tue Jun 25, 2002 2:27 pm

Han Xin wrote:Well, if you look at some poor asian countries when parents sell their girls into prostitution, most people view it as the parents were selfish and stuff, but in many instant, they have to sacrifice one child to give another child a better future. I am not condoning this type of conduct in any case, but sometime one have to look at the total picture before calling a parent bad... Usually, society is to blame...


In this case the parents would choose to give their son a better future rather than giving both the daughter and the son an equal one.
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Unread postby James » Tue Jun 25, 2002 6:33 pm

Han Xin wrote:Well, that only true in countries where parents could still freely belt their kids. In Australia or any one of these western develope countries, a parent could be throw into jail for hitting a kid.

Beating a child is far from the best solution. It does not teach the child much and does not directly associate with the action the child took. The best solution is to devise a "punishment" the teaches the child not to take the negative action again. Parents would find this to be quite easy with a little calm thought and some intelligence.

Han Xin wrote:Well, if you look at some poor asian countries when parents sell their girls into prostitution, most people view it as the parents were selfish and stuff, but in many instant, they have to sacrifice one child to give another child a better future. I am not condoning this type of conduct in any case, but sometime one have to look at the total picture before calling a parent bad... Usually, society is to blame...

I think a parent that goes through with this is horrible. Not because of the actions taken after the birth of the second child, but for being stupid enough to have a second child that they could not support in the first place.
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Unread postby Jimayo » Wed Jun 26, 2002 3:50 am

Zhuge Kongming wrote:Beating a child is far from the best solution. It does not teach the child much and does not directly associate with the action the child took. The best solution is to devise a "punishment" the teaches the child not to take the negative action again. Parents would find this to be quite easy with a little calm thought and some intelligence.


Care to wager on that? Let me tell you, if you have ever been beaten you won't be doing that again.

To explain. My step-father did beat me a few times. Not for stupid reasons like you ussually hear about, I had to do something seriously wrong before that happened. Like the time I stole $70 out of their dresser. I got beaten, and let me tell you, I never stole from them again(and rarely have since, just a few times I shoplifted some grub when I was out of both money and food). That really taught me a lesson.
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Unread postby Sun Ce » Wed Jun 26, 2002 4:00 am

I wouldn't say I grew up being neglected, but my early home life was not easy. I had a father who would physicaly and emotionaly abuse me, and a mother who was too afraid to do anything about it. Finally when I was about 14 or 15 they got a divorce after many seperations, and then it seemed hard to stay close to her because she always had a new boyfriend in and out. Things have been better as of late. Considering I live away from home, but my father wont bother to even give me a call. So as somewhat living proof to such things I don't have any sympathy for such parents, and want to watch it when they get what they deserve.
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Unread postby Zhang He » Wed Jun 26, 2002 4:17 am

Zhuge Kongming wrote:Beating a child is far from the best solution. It does not teach the child much and does not directly associate with the action the child took. The best solution is to devise a "punishment" the teaches the child not to take the negative action again. Parents would find this to be quite easy with a little calm thought and some intelligence.


Well said, Zhuge Kongming. In my experience at least, beating a child teaches it very little exept that physical violence is acceptable. Sure, it may stop the child from doing whatever it did wrong, but only because it fears further violence.

Teaching a child why what it did was wrong is far, far more valuable.

I'm not saying children shouldn't be disciplined, but i don't see any value at all in hitting them.
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Unread postby Sun Ce » Wed Jun 26, 2002 4:23 am

Beating a child is far from the best solution. It does not teach the child much and does not directly associate with the action the child took. The best solution is to devise a "punishment" the teaches the child not to take the negative action again. Parents would find this to be quite easy with a little calm thought and some intelligence.


Completely agreed. Beating children only teaches them that it is okay to not only do it to others, but also their children as well. As they see it is the most reliable solution. Which.......it is not.
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Unread postby Lion's Mane » Wed Jun 26, 2002 4:49 am

I had my backside tarred with a belt many times when I was a child, because my step-father thought it appropriate because his father did it to him. Funny thing was, I always pretty much got whipped for the same things over and over again.

My mother actually took the time to (yell) tell me why what I did was wrong. The end result is I, to this day, am afraid of my step-father, and am very close to my mother.
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