Crazy times, crazy people – the RTK Tabloids

[Lady Wu]

With all respect to Guan Yu fans out there.... (blame Han Xin... it's he who brought this story to my attention )
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<img align=center src ="http://kongming.net/images/portraits/rtktvseries/guanyu_2_162.jpg"> Yunchang emerging from the Courthouse, having lost to Mengde in the case for marriage to Lady Du.

When the Lord Cao and Liu Bei was beseiging Lü Bu at Xiapi, Guan Yu informed the lord that Lü Bu had sent one Qin Yilu to look for help. [But since Qin had left his first wife behind,] Guan Yu asked if he could marry his wife [when the city is taken]. The lord consented to the proposal. Right before the city was taken, Guan Yu made repeated reminders to the lord about the matter. The Lord Cao started to suspect that the woman was indeed of exceptional beauty, and so he secretly had the woman taken to him to have a look at. He then kept the woman for himself. Thus, Guan Yu was greatly annoyed.

When Lü Bu was surrounded, Guan Yu made repeated requests to Cao Cao for taking the Lady Du (Qin Yilu's wife) to be his (Guan Yu's) wife. Cao Cao, suspecting that the woman would be of great beauty, met with her right after the city was taken, and took her for himself. Qin Yilu surrendered to Cao Cao, and was made Chief of Zhi.

Later, Liu Bei left to escape to Xiaopei, and Zhang Fei, his follower, went to Qin Yilu and said to him, "You're working as a commune chief for someone who took your wife -- how stupid is that! Come away with us!" So Yilu followed him away, but after a few miles, he regretted, and wanted to return. And so, Zhang Fei killed him.

PS: Sorry, it is MNB that I have blame for point this story out. Han Xin is.. um... innocent...

[CaTigeReptile]

Aww, too bad Xiahou Dun had no such mommy to help him. Those mothers have some respect going for them. . .Mommy Lü was able to make a pirate cry with her merciful compassion. And jeez, I heard Guan Yu was a womanizer, but does he think that Qin Yilu would have wanted to work for him more than Cao Cao had he ended up with his wife? And he's annoyed at Cao Cao for bereaving Qin Yilu instead of himself doing so? Poor Lady Du! Poor Qin Yilu! And Qin Yilu somehow ends up dying for this. There's a conspiracy here. . .That ancient in the background of the Guan Yu picture is an alien!

[Jiang Zhi]

Haha...Guan Yu the womanizer now, what will the people who praise Guan Yu think of this deity the God of War and...Womanizing?

[Yorak]

They'll probably praise him all the more. Not only could he kick anyone's ass, he got all the ladies, too. It's a whole sex / violence thing.

Zhang Fei should really be the God of War, though, as he seems to have gotten the part about getting drunk and getting into fights, which is really the heart of military service.

[Yorak]

Some fun stuff I found!

Sun Quan: Steve Irwin of Wu?

From Zhang Zhao's SGZ bio:

Sun Quan had often gone hunting in the fields. Riding on his horse, he would shoot arrows at tigers, and often they would leap forward, grabbing at the saddle. Once Zhang Zhao came up to him sternly and said, “Why do you do this, o general? When one is said to be a lord over man, it means that he is able to rule over and command heroes of the time, but not that he can gallop through the plains wrestling with wild beasts! If there should be an accident one day, would the world not laugh at you?” Quan apologized to Zhao, saying, “I am young and do not think far, and have dishonored you in this.” But yet he could not stop [hunting]. And so he built a “tiger-shooting chariot”, which has square holes [to see and shoot out of], and often the roof is taken off. Having someone driving the chariot, Quan would stand in the centre and shoot. Occasionally there would be beasts traveling in groups that would attack the chariot, and Quan would fight hand-to-hand with them for fun. Even when Zhao admonished him, he would only smile and not answer Zhao.

And yet more fun between Sun Quan and Zhang Zhao...

Sun Quan shows his love for Zhang Zhao through barracades and arson

Zhao was angry because his advice (about not sending Zhang Mi and Xu An to acknowledge Gongsun Yuan to be Prince of Yan) was not heeded, and took sick leave from his duties, staying at home. Quan resented that, and piled dirt at Zhang Zhao’s door to block it. Zhao, from the inside, sealed his door with dirt as well. In the end, Gongsun Yuan really killed Mi and An, and Quan tried to apologize to Zhao about it. However, Zhao did not come out. Quan then walked by his door, calling out for him, but Zhao declined the visit, saying that he was in the last stages of his illness. Quan then set fire to his door in an attempt to scare Zhao out, but rather than coming out, Zhao shut his doors even tighter. So Quan had to get someone to extinguish the fire, and stood there, staring at it for a long time. All the sons of Zhang Zhao picked Zhao up and helped him out the door, and Sun Quan took him in a carriage back to the palace, where he admitted guilt on his part, apologizing profusely. With no choice, Zhao returned to his work after that.

[Lady Wu]

Thanks Yorak!
Sun Quan never grew up, I guess. Between hunting for tigers and playing pranks on foreign envoys and trying to burn his advisor alive... sheesh...

[Milliardo]

Haha... these are quite excellent. I particularly liked the entries about Xiahou Dun and Sun Quan. Does anyone have anything about Zhou Yu or Zhang He?

[Jon]

Lady Wu, mind posting some of the pranks Sun Quan pulled on the foreign envoys?

[Jimayo]

Thanks Yorak!
Sun Quan never grew up, I guess. Between hunting for tigers and playing pranks on foreign envoys and trying to burn his advisor alive... sheesh...

Yeah, and refusing a cup of wine at a banquet was very dangerous(Wei Teng? found it to be a fatal mistake).

[Lu Kang]

Yang Xiu is smarter than Cao Cao by a mile, no wait, 10 miles

Riding along with his officers, Cao Cao came across a memorial stele inscribed with a famous elegy. Underneath the elegy were eight puzzling Chinese characters.

When Yang Xiu, one of Cao's subordinates, said he understood their meaning, the general replied, "Don't tell me. Let me think."

Ten miles down the road, Cao Cao came up with the answer. The eight characters, by an ingenious play on their meanings, shapes, and sounds, could be recombined into four other characters saying, "Excellent writing!"--words in praise of the elegy on the stele.

Cao Cao sighed, "Yang Xiu is cleverer than I am by ten miles!"