Behind the scenes RoTK (funny version)

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Re: Behind the scenes RoTK (funny version)

Unread postby TooMuchBaijiu » Sun Jul 17, 2011 7:40 pm

I'll try another one....

Cao Pi wakes up in the morning and walks out to his palace gardens, where he watches the sun rise. "Good morning, Mr. Sun!" He says.

"Good morning, Your Majesty!" The sun replies.

So Cao Pi goes to court until noon and while his generals report in on a stunning new development on the Wu frontier, Cao Pi sees the sun out of his window, still high in the sky.

"So you see, My Lord, Sun Quan's guard is down and the entire kingdom is vulnerable. If we strike now, we can-"

"Good Afternoon, Mr. Sun!" Cao Pi exclaims.

"Good Afternoon, Your Majesty!"

At the end of the day, Cao Pi slips a note to his loving empress kindly requesting that she kill herself, and he takes a casual stroll back down his palace gardens once more, where he sees the sun beginning to set.

"Good Night, Mr. Sun!" Cao Pi smiles.

The sun says nothing in return.

"I said, 'Good Night, Mr. Sun!"

"Kiss my ass. I'm in Shu now."
I don't write fanfic, but if I did it would involve Zhou Yu and Zheng He fighting to win the heart of Lai Choi San. Then I'd make them join forces to fight Ming the Merciless, who secretly works for Master Li. I'd squeeze Lu Bu in there somehow.
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Re: Behind the scenes RoTK (funny version)

Unread postby Zhuanyong » Sun Jul 17, 2011 8:28 pm

TooMuchBaijiu wrote:I'll try another one....

Cao Pi wakes up in the morning and walks out to his palace gardens, where he watches the sun rise. "Good morning, Mr. Sun!" He says.

"Good morning, Your Majesty!" The sun replies.

So Cao Pi goes to court until noon and while his generals report in on a stunning new development on the Wu frontier, Cao Pi sees the sun out of his window, still high in the sky.

"So you see, My Lord, Sun Quan's guard is down and the entire kingdom is vulnerable. If we strike now, we can-"

"Good Afternoon, Mr. Sun!" Cao Pi exclaims.

"Good Afternoon, Your Majesty!"

At the end of the day, Cao Pi slips a note to his loving empress kindly requesting that she kill herself, and he takes a casual stroll back down his palace gardens once more, where he sees the sun beginning to set.

"Good Night, Mr. Sun!" Cao Pi smiles.

The sun says nothing in return.

"I said, 'Good Night, Mr. Sun!"

"Kiss my ass. I'm in Shu now."


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dude, right now you're owning this thread. I love it, I love it!
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Re: Behind the scenes RoTK (funny version)

Unread postby Hyper90 » Mon Jul 18, 2011 11:22 am

the real purpose of chi bi..


Cao cao: what else do you know why sun quan and zhou yu wont surrender ?
Jiang Gan: i am not sure, but i heard zhou yu's mumbling when he's sleeping
Cao cao: what did you heard?
Jiang Gan: i heard he said he'll rip you apart for the desire of taking his wife.
Cao cao: what ! how dare he think that i would... wait a sec, his wife is one of the qiao sisters, right?
Jiang Gan: yes
Cao cao: *evil snickers* :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

and so cao cao was more determined for chi bi
"There are five possible operations for any army. If you can fight, fight; if you cannot fight, defend; if you cannot defend, flee; if you cannot flee, surrender; if you cannot surrender, die. " Sima Yi

take a look please
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Re: Behind the scenes RoTK (funny version)

Unread postby epaminondas146871 » Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:32 pm

Battle of Xiaoyao Ford

Yue Jin: General, Duel me!
Ling Tong: Ha! You don't know what you've gotten yourself into!

Cao Xiu: (shoots Ling Tong's horse, which throws off Ling Tong)

Gan Ning: Now's my chance to get rid of this asshole who hates me for killing his Daddy!
(shoots arrow)

Yue Jin: (rushing in to finish off Ling Tong) Aggh! My face! (dies)

Gan Ning: ... shit ...
"Remember upon the conduct of each depends the fate of all." - Alexander

"The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly." - Friedrich Nietzsche
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Re: Behind the scenes RoTK (funny version)

Unread postby Yang Dayang » Tue Jul 19, 2011 4:13 pm

epaminondas146871 wrote:Battle of Xiaoyao Ford

Yue Jin: General, Duel me!
Ling Tong: Ha! You don't know what you've gotten yourself into!

Cao Xiu: (shoots Ling Tong's horse, which throws off Ling Tong)

Gan Ning: Now's my chance to get rid of this asshole who hates me for killing his Daddy!
(shoots arrow)

Yue Jin: (rushing in to finish off Ling Tong) Aggh! My face! (dies)

Gan Ning: ... shit ...


Either Gan Ning has a terrible aim, or he was aiming to Ling Tong's crotch :lol:
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Re: Behind the scenes RoTK (funny version)

Unread postby epaminondas146871 » Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:10 pm

Yang Dayang wrote:
epaminondas146871 wrote:Battle of Xiaoyao Ford

Yue Jin: General, Duel me!
Ling Tong: Ha! You don't know what you've gotten yourself into!

Cao Xiu: (shoots Ling Tong's horse, which throws off Ling Tong)

Gan Ning: Now's my chance to get rid of this asshole who hates me for killing his Daddy!
(shoots arrow)

Yue Jin: (rushing in to finish off Ling Tong) Aggh! My face! (dies)

Gan Ning: ... shit ...


Either Gan Ning has a terrible aim, or he was aiming to Ling Tong's crotch :lol:


And that is why Gan Ning doesn't have S aptitude Bows :lol:
"Remember upon the conduct of each depends the fate of all." - Alexander

"The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly." - Friedrich Nietzsche
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Re: Behind the scenes RoTK (funny version)

Unread postby Hyper90 » Fri Jul 22, 2011 9:15 am

During Wu's celebration of capturing Jing and death of Guan yu

when sun quan pass the cup to lu meng...

Dashing the cup to the ground, Lu Meng seized Sun Quan, crying, "O green-eyed boy! O purple-bearded rat! Do you know me?"

sun quan was soo freak out
Lu Meng : how's my acting ? pretty good huh ?

everyone was relieved and started laughing, "you got us, lu meng!"

when lu meng returned to his seat, he made a fall, laying on the ground
Sun Quan: ooh, playing possum eh? Haha, another good one, Lu Meng !!
Lu Meng didnt make a move
Sun Quan: okay, lu meng, you can get up now.... Meng ? hello ?? tickle tickle !!

Sun Quan: o shit...
"There are five possible operations for any army. If you can fight, fight; if you cannot fight, defend; if you cannot defend, flee; if you cannot flee, surrender; if you cannot surrender, die. " Sima Yi

take a look please
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Re: Behind the scenes RoTK (funny version)

Unread postby TooMuchBaijiu » Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:47 pm

Ok, this one's stupid, but if I don't post it I'll lose it...

Huang Zhong and Zhuge Liang are at a banquet with the Three Brothers. Huang Zhong turns to Zhuge Liang and says, "Hey, Kongming, have the Lord and his oath brothers always spent so much time together?"

"As far as I can remember."

"Do you think they're...uh...you know...?"

Zhuge glares at Huang Zhong. "Sure they are. They've been doing the 'Peach Garden Oath' on the same couch for thirty years." Zhuge looks at Huang pointedly. "Is this a problem for you?"

"No, no! Not me. After all, we all live by twenty-first western liberal standards here in Shu, right?"

"Right!"

"I mean, if they want to 'Cross the Five Passes' with each other that's their business. It's just that it's hard to believe. For one thing, Lord Guan Yu's wife is drop-dead gorgeous."

"Well, that's why they call him 'The Man With The Beautiful Beard."

You may groan now.
I don't write fanfic, but if I did it would involve Zhou Yu and Zheng He fighting to win the heart of Lai Choi San. Then I'd make them join forces to fight Ming the Merciless, who secretly works for Master Li. I'd squeeze Lu Bu in there somehow.
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Re: Behind the scenes RoTK (funny version)

Unread postby epaminondas146871 » Thu Jul 28, 2011 6:57 pm

TooMuchBaijiu wrote:Ok, this one's stupid, but if I don't post it I'll lose it...

Huang Zhong and Zhuge Liang are at a banquet with the Three Brothers. Huang Zhong turns to Zhuge Liang and says, "Hey, Kongming, have the Lord and his oath brothers always spent so much time together?"

"As far as I can remember."

"Do you think they're...uh...you know...?"

Zhuge glares at Huang Zhong. "Sure they are. They've been doing the 'Peach Garden Oath' on the same couch for thirty years." Zhuge looks at Huang pointedly. "Is this a problem for you?"

"No, no! Not me. After all, we all live by twenty-first western liberal standards here in Shu, right?"

"Right!"

"I mean, if they want to 'Cross the Five Passes' with each other that's their business. It's just that it's hard to believe. For one thing, Lord Guan Yu's wife is drop-dead gorgeous."

"Well, that's why they call him 'The Man With The Beautiful Beard."

You may groan now.


Lord.
"Remember upon the conduct of each depends the fate of all." - Alexander

"The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly." - Friedrich Nietzsche
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Re: Behind the scenes RoTK (funny version)

Unread postby Sun Fin » Sat Jul 30, 2011 3:00 pm

The first two were excellent TMB. :lol:
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ― Nelson Mandela
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