Jokes

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Re: Jokes

Unread postby Lady Chen » Sat Jan 21, 2012 1:09 am

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Re: Jokes

Unread postby rcsha » Sat Jan 21, 2012 1:37 am

Since I've been working with a bunch of Engineers lately, I managed to come up with this little tawdry gem of a joke...

Little Timmy comes home from kindergarten one day and tells everyone, "I wann be an Engineer when I grow up."
No one bothers to question his decision, they're happy he wants to be an Engineer. Everyone tells him, "Well you've gotta work hard in school, Timmy, especially in math."
So Timmy does as he's told and works hard at school. He studies hard every night, even taking extra courses on the weekends in High School and getting tutored in arithmetic. Finally he graduates and goes off to a college to start a barrage of Engineering courses. After his first week at college he comes back home to visit and his family asks him how he likes his new classes.
"I don't like 'em," Timmy spits angrily.
"Why not?" his family asked.
"Been there a week and they ain't said nothin' 'bout trains at all!"

:roll:
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Re: Jokes

Unread postby Podical » Sat Feb 25, 2012 2:37 pm

When i was a student of school then the girls of my class were made some girls jokes. They shared those jokes among the all students, those jokes were very funny. So, now i want to know some girls jokes from all of you. Please share some girls jokes.
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Re: Jokes

Unread postby TooMuchBaijiu » Wed May 30, 2012 1:05 am

Cindy Sherman and her husband were fighting. "I don't know you anymore!" he said. "It's like you're a different person every time I see you."
I don't write fanfic, but if I did it would involve Zhou Yu and Zheng He fighting to win the heart of Lai Choi San. Then I'd make them join forces to fight Ming the Merciless, who secretly works for Master Li. I'd squeeze Lu Bu in there somehow.
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Re: Jokes

Unread postby Sun Fin » Thu Sep 11, 2014 11:48 am

An English lady wanted to buy a house in Switzerland, after looking round a possibly property she realised she hadn’t seen a toilet. She duly sent a letter to the estate agent asking about the location of the ‘WC’ (water closet-an English abbreviation for toilets). The Estate Agent’s English was limited and so he asked a Parish priest to translate. The only translation for WC he could come up with was a Wesleyan Chapel. The response letter is one of the most hilarious things I have EVER read:

My Dear Madam,

I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is situated about nine miles from the house in a beautiful grove of pine trees surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and it is open Sundays and Thursdays only. As there are a great number of people expected during the summer months, it is an unfortunate situation, especially if you are in the habit of going regularly. It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in the WC and it was there that she met her husband. I can remember the rush there was for seats. There were ten people to every set usually occupied by one.

You will be glad to hear that a good number of people bring their lunch and make a day of it, while those who can afford to buy a car arrive just in time. I would especially recommend your ladyship to go on Thursdays when there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent, even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.

The newest addition is a bell donated by a wealthy resident of the district. It rings every time a person enters. A bazaar is to be held to provide plush seats for all since the people feel is long needed. My wife is rather delicate and she cannot attend regularly. It is almost a year since she last went, and naturally it pains her very much to not be able to go more often. I shall be delighted to reserve the best seat for you, where you shall be seen by all. For the children there is a special day and time so that they do not disturb the elders.

Hoping to be of some service to you,

Yours faithfully, etc…

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Jokes

Unread postby Mitsunari » Mon Nov 24, 2014 11:29 am

Sun Fin wrote:An English lady wanted to buy a house in Switzerland, after looking round a possibly property she realised she hadn’t seen a toilet. She duly sent a letter to the estate agent asking about the location of the ‘WC’ (water closet-an English abbreviation for toilets). The Estate Agent’s English was limited and so he asked a Parish priest to translate. The only translation for WC he could come up with was a Wesleyan Chapel. The response letter is one of the most hilarious things I have EVER read:

My Dear Madam,

I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is situated about nine miles from the house in a beautiful grove of pine trees surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and it is open Sundays and Thursdays only. As there are a great number of people expected during the summer months, it is an unfortunate situation, especially if you are in the habit of going regularly. It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in the WC and it was there that she met her husband. I can remember the rush there was for seats. There were ten people to every set usually occupied by one.

You will be glad to hear that a good number of people bring their lunch and make a day of it, while those who can afford to buy a car arrive just in time. I would especially recommend your ladyship to go on Thursdays when there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent, even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.

The newest addition is a bell donated by a wealthy resident of the district. It rings every time a person enters. A bazaar is to be held to provide plush seats for all since the people feel is long needed. My wife is rather delicate and she cannot attend regularly. It is almost a year since she last went, and naturally it pains her very much to not be able to go more often. I shall be delighted to reserve the best seat for you, where you shall be seen by all. For the children there is a special day and time so that they do not disturb the elders.

Hoping to be of some service to you,

Yours faithfully, etc…

:lol: :lol: :lol:


Superb. :lol:
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Re: Jokes

Unread postby DragonAtma » Tue Nov 25, 2014 1:31 am

Congress.
Unless I specifically say otherwise, assume I am talking about historical Three Kingdoms, and not the novel.

In memory of my beloved cats, Anastasia (9/30/06-9/18/17, illness) and Josephine (1/19/06-9/23/17, cancer).
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Re: Jokes

Unread postby FoxWithWings » Sat Dec 20, 2014 3:51 am

Heh heh heh.

Whats the difference between a congressman and a catfish?

One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a fish!

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Re: Jokes

Unread postby SunXia » Sat Dec 20, 2014 2:09 pm

Lady Chen wrote:Image


Is anyone able to explain this to me?? I know Snoop Dogg's been in and out of prison but I thought this was meant to be ironic that it was assumed he'd be in prison but she was instead??
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Re: Jokes

Unread postby FoxWithWings » Sun Dec 21, 2014 2:49 am

I'd imagine it is so. The joke would fall completely flat if that was not the case
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