Phobias: what are you afraid of?

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Re: Phobias: what are you afraid of?

Unread postby FoxWithWings » Mon Mar 30, 2015 3:43 am

Oof. That got morbid quick. :(

I think that's a perfectly rational fear though; I wouldn't really count is as a phobia.


Phobia is broken down from the Greek word Phobos. Fear. It's defined as an "Irrational or extreme fear of something".

I've watched my grandfather die of a bone marrow disease before my eyes, three other family members have left me since then. Other than them, one of my brother's closest friends, aged 20, died a room away from me (no foul play), then a friend's father passed due to cancer. Near bout a year ago, one of my closest friends, a man I would call my brother, was diagnosed with cancer. He was 18, same age as I am.

So yeah, I've been to too many funerals for my liking. And I worry constantly for those I still have. Sorry for the morbidity.
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Re: Phobias: what are you afraid of?

Unread postby Bush Leagues » Mon Mar 30, 2015 5:52 am

FoxWithWings wrote:Phobia is broken down from the Greek word Phobos. Fear. It's defined as an "Irrational or extreme fear of something".

I've watched my grandfather die of a bone marrow disease before my eyes, three other family members have left me since then. Other than them, one of my brother's closest friends, aged 20, died a room away from me (no foul play), then a friend's father passed due to cancer. Near bout a year ago, one of my closest friends, a man I would call my brother, was diagnosed with cancer. He was 18, same age as I am.

So yeah, I've been to too many funerals for my liking. And I worry constantly for those I still have. Sorry for the morbidity.


I thought phobias were only irrational, not extreme.

That's rough. You've had a hard time of it. My sympathies. :(
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Re: Phobias: what are you afraid of?

Unread postby FoxWithWings » Mon Mar 30, 2015 1:24 pm

I thought phobias were only irrational, not extreme.

That's rough. You've had a hard time of it. My sympathies. :(


It's a common misconception.

And thank you.
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Re: Phobias: what are you afraid of?

Unread postby SunXia » Mon Mar 30, 2015 8:01 pm

Death is a terribly rational fear to have, I remember yelling at my granny to stop her unhealthy lifestyle and then she died of another heart attack days later.

My young nephew turns 6 this April, when he was 1 year old, his Granny whom he still remembers, killed herself and was found in a lough; when he was 2 his father hung himself; when he was 3 his Grandfather died after surgery; last June he was speaking to his best friend in the street whilst walking to a trip, turned a corner departing from his friend, heard a car screech and didn't realize that his friend had just been killed in a car accident.

Naturally, my nephew is very very sensitive to peoples feelings, he has been called a "fruit" in the street by bullies when someone brings up his dad or family. Recently his Great Grandmother died and he wouldn't go to the funeral, he's seen too much of it I'm afraid so I let him stay with me. When I woke up last saturday he had his arms wrapped around my neck in his sleep and was whispering for me not to leave. Now he was also ill at the time so could have been the fever but I would consider his fear to be very rational, people of all ages around him have suddenly "gone to heaven" without him understanding why. He has a very acute memory, probably the smartest toddler I ever encountered and he's just my little wee brave man.

Fear of losing someone is very common but I still wouldn't consider it a phobia because we all have the dreams and sweats and nightmares where we have lost someone. Death is something that is inevitable and losing someone is something we all risk when we open our heart to them. We know its going to happen sometime, there's no pretending it won't and often worry or fear when. Especially in my city there is an increase of young Suicides, I know a family who in last two years, lost father to illness then the daughter was killed by a joyrider knocking her down and now, after those tragedies, a son hung himself last Sunday, and he was the third son in that same house to do so since the father/daughter deaths because they just couldn't live with the grief.

Grief and trauma from death is very real and we should all allow ourselves to go through the grief cycle otherwise it can bottle up and become stress and depression. I would advise anyone to get help in dealing with loss or death, its a very real problem and one that isn't as easily shrugged off as say my fear of spiders because I know they aren't going to kill me, the ones near me so my fear is completely silly but still a fear. Death happens and its a natural fear we all have, the fear and trauma of loss and getting over something like that.
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Re: Phobias: what are you afraid of?

Unread postby Bush Leagues » Wed Apr 01, 2015 4:07 am

I have one that comes back every now and then when I feel particularly useless.

And it's just that...a fear of being useless.

...I have a hard time expressing this into words, but I think most people will know what I mean. The feeling that you're just not as good as you should be. At whatever - your job, being a good boyfriend, a decent human being...whatever. A quote from the movie Glory (one of my favorites) that illustrates what I mean -

Matthew Broderick, Glory wrote:I am placed in a position where, if l were a man of real strength...I might do a great deal. But I am afraid I shall show that I'm not of much account.


I don't have the task of leading a regiment into battle, but I hope the idea is illustrated well enough. Sometimes it's less a fear of being "not of much account", but actually being convinced that it's the case. I have ambitions, but no determination to see it through. I have integrity, but no courage to fight immoral circumstances or people.

...Just writing about it almost makes me tear up.

This is almost certainly my biggest fear.
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Re: Phobias: what are you afraid of?

Unread postby FoxWithWings » Wed Apr 01, 2015 4:27 am

You're certainly not useless. Everyone has something, more often several things, that they excel at. This feeling of uselessness is only a perception. Not reality.

People are like puzzle pieces, Bush, you only have to find the right spot, the right fit, and you'll make a great contribution to creating a greater picture.
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Re: Phobias: what are you afraid of?

Unread postby Bush Leagues » Wed Apr 01, 2015 4:51 am

FoxWithWings wrote:You're certainly not useless. Everyone has something, more often several things, that they excel at. This feeling of uselessness is only a perception. Not reality.

People are like puzzle pieces, Bush, you only have to find the right spot, the right fit, and you'll make a great contribution to creating a greater picture.


Hell, I know that. This is just something that I feel from time to time. Most days, I shake it off. Not everyday.

...Your words are really kind though. Thank you.
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Re: Phobias: what are you afraid of?

Unread postby FoxWithWings » Wed Apr 01, 2015 3:11 pm

Hell, I know that. This is just something that I feel from time to time. Most days, I shake it off. Not everyday.

...Your words are really kind though. Thank you.


Anytime.
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Re: Phobias: what are you afraid of?

Unread postby Sun Fin » Wed Apr 01, 2015 5:50 pm

Bush Leagues wrote:I have one that comes back every now and then when I feel particularly useless.

And it's just that...a fear of being useless.

...I have a hard time expressing this into words, but I think most people will know what I mean. The feeling that you're just not as good as you should be. At whatever - your job, being a good boyfriend, a decent human being...whatever. A quote from the movie Glory (one of my favorites) that illustrates what I mean -

Matthew Broderick, Glory wrote:I am placed in a position where, if l were a man of real strength...I might do a great deal. But I am afraid I shall show that I'm not of much account.


I don't have the task of leading a regiment into battle, but I hope the idea is illustrated well enough. Sometimes it's less a fear of being "not of much account", but actually being convinced that it's the case. I have ambitions, but no determination to see it through. I have integrity, but no courage to fight immoral circumstances or people.

...Just writing about it almost makes me tear up.

This is almost certainly my biggest fear.


I think most of us feel this at times. The fear of failure. It was one of the reasons I didn't work hard in school. I wanted to believe that if I tried my hardest than I would be the most talented and intelligent person in the school. That belief became so important to me that I chose not to work my hardest in case I actually found out that belief wasn't true.

We just need to confront that failure on a daily basis. I personally found my release from the fear in the Biblical book of Philippians in chapter 3 where I was reminded that Christianity isn't about my own achievements and I don't need to be the best, I merely need to trust in God's grace. That freed me to try my hardest because it no longer mattered if I messed up!
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ― Nelson Mandela
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Re: Phobias: what are you afraid of?

Unread postby Feng Shin » Sun Apr 05, 2015 5:54 pm

I don't have anything to be afraid of..
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